Falling For My Stepbrother

Chapter 22

A/N 

Human by Christina Perri to the left. Play it cause it fits well with the chapter. NOT edited. Enjoy.

Chapter 22

Luke and I walk into the rented hall together. The coffin holding Collin Calmberg's body lies in the middle of the room and we make our way towards it. It's maDe entirely out of wood except for a restangular shape of plactic allowing us to see the body's face. Through the plastic rectangle,  Mr. Calmberg looks peacefully asleep, but I know he isn't. There is a big difference between sleep and death, and one would be stupid to think that they are alike. Nevertheless, Mr. Calmberg looks more peaceful dead than he did when I last saw him inebriated.

"He's wearing the suit he wore at his wedding," Luke says, his face pale.

I peek in and see that he is dressed in a dark green tuxedo. Elizabeth Mary isn't here to see it. She doesn't care about her ex husband anymore.

"I can't believe that's him," His voice breaks, "I just cant believe that he's dead. I can't accept this. I can't-" A sob cuts him off.

I turn to look at him and see tears slowly running down his cheeks. Not caring that we are in a room full of people who know that we are teachnically related, I wrap my arms around him and pull him into a hug. His chest rises and falls heavily with sobs against my cheek. My first impulse is to tell him that it's okay, but I know that it isn't, and saying that would be lying to his face. Biting down on my tongue, I stay silent instead.

Somebody taps on Luke's shoulder and we pull away. It's his grandmother. With swollen eyes which are still shedding tears, she hugs Luke and goes over to see her son. 

"NO!" She screams throatily, "HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE AT MY FUNERAL! I SHOULDN'T BE AT HIS!"

The way she cries makes my heart-wrench and I move a little towards the side.

"Mom," Luke's uncle comes into view and wraps his arm around her shoulders, "Don't say that. Collin is in a better place."

"NO," She sobs, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE'S GONE! I CANNOT ACCEPT IT AND I WON'T ACCEPT IT!"

I look away. I can't see this. No mother should see their son dead. No mother.

Luke goes around and greets more people looking as though he hasn't been crying and faking a smile. I frown. He shouldn't be doing that. He should be allowed to grieve. It isn't fair for him. It really isn't.

During the service, I sit two rows behind Luke because only family members can sit at the front. Luke's uncle turns to say something to him, and he nods and stands up. I watch and he walks unto the podium and picks up the microphone with shaky fingers.

"Um..." He looks at the ground as he tries to think of something to say. I've never known Luke to be speechless before. He raises the mike to his lips and with a determined look, he speaks.

"If you are seated here today, it means that you knew my father in some way or another. I'm not going to say that he was an amazing man and that what he did was brave, no. My father was lost, he was a horrible husband, and an even worse father, but I can't say that he never tried to be the best," He exhales heavily before continuing. "What he did by commiting suicide is considered cowardice, because he knew that he couldn't move on, so he took the easy way out instead of facing what he needed to."

Luke raises his head and locks eyes with me. His hand stops shaking. "I haven't seen my father in three years, but just about a week ago, he wrote and asked to see me. With the insistence of my stepsister, I ageed. I only saw him twice before he died. Now, I know he loved me, he just didn't know how to show it." Sighing heavily, he ends the speech. "We can all learn something from Collin Calmberg's death, and that is to hold whoever you love close to you and never let them go, lest you end up like him."