Chapter 9

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Nicki

I lay on my bed with K. Michelle's "Can't Raise A Man" on repeat. Rihanna was passed out on the other bed, probably fighting the massive hangover we both were experiencing. Our night at the club totally sucked.

Be both ended up bringing home a guy. Mine's name was Messiah, and hers Lamar; two tall brothers with the whole package. They were lightskin, with a six-pack, a v-line, and they were tatted up. We drank a little, then things got a little crazy. I don't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure I got laid; big time. He fell asleep by me, and Lamar fell asleep by Rih. But they both weren't there when I woke up.

It was a one-night stand; just what I thought I was gonna end up getting. Fucking duh.

He got older but never grew,

For his life couldn't tell the truth.

How to love, he ain't got a clue.

Playin' games like he'll never lose you.

Tryna talk to him, can't get through.

Every day he's a different dude.

These are the signs of a grown-ass boy,

You better run for the hills, I'm just keeping it real.

You can't raise a man,

He's already grown, whatcha gone do?

You wonder why he acts like a boy,

It's cuz he wasn't raised right before you.

Girl you ain't never gone change nobody, if he don't wanna you can't make nobody,

'cuz you can't raise a man, no, no.

Sunlight streamed through the curtains, making my headache ten times worse. I was too weak to walk over and close them, so I just let them be.

I checked my phone for the time; 6:40. That was way to early to be awake, but I couldn't go back to sleep, not when I'm this depressed.

My phone buzzed. It was a text from Messiah.

Messiah - Hey, I left my shirt over there, Imma come by and get it.

Hmph. I'm sure once he gets his shirt back, I'll never see that nigga again. But it was whatever, I'm probably just another girl to him. He prolly don't even know my name. I sighed and texted him back "ok" even though I didn't want him to just come back for his shirt; I wanted him to come back for me, too.

Rihanna

Lamar wasn't with me in bed when I woke up this morning. There was no Messiah to be seen, either. They probably left after they got they pussy. I wasn't suprised, either. I was used to it. Waking up every morning alone, feeling useless and empty and drained. It used to hurt when I woke up to find nobody next to me, but now I'm just numb. I've been betrayed so many times in my life that I don't even know what to feel anymore. I've always been a side bitch; to Chris, especially.

I looked over and noticed Nicki was awake. Maybe she knew where he was.

"Nicki," I whisper, and she looks over at me in response.

"You're awake," she whispers back. I could hear the pain in her voice. She was obviously suffering from the huge headache I was.

"Do you know where Lamar went?" I ask subtly.

She shook her head slowly, sadness in her eyes.

"No. I don't know where Messiah is, either."

"Oh."

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