Broken Girl

I am a fluff picker

It was summer time in mississauga, hot and muggy it was about the time of year that Dad and Deedee took thier yearly trip to mexico.I loved this time of year, usually one of the aunts or uncles came over to watch us for about a week. But this time it was different Dad said that the whole family is going to Florida this year, i was so happy, i have never been to Florida and we also were going to go to Disney Land. There was only one week until we left, so i tried to be on my best behaviour, i felt i was. Dad asked sharon and myself to get into the car and we drove to Mcdonalds to have a sundae. Dad said that we both could go but one of us had to come home early, because one of the plane tickets was a early return, Dad decided it was me to come home. I found out that i was only staying 4 days and that my older step  sister was coming home to watch me for the remaining week. I was upset but atleast i was going to Florida right?

We went on the trip and had a great time, during my four days things went well, we swam in th ocean and picked seashells, and went to Disney Land. On my last day they took us all out to Red Lobster to have a meal, they next day is when i would go home. I was kind of sad becsue it was a beautiful place, and to see a palm tree was amazing. I boarded the plane back to Mississauga Canada, when i got to the destination i was to take a cab directly home which i did.When i got home there was my older step sister waiting for me, she was cool, she would sometimes try to talk to me giving me tips on Deedee like how not to get her angey and if i did what not to do.

Marilyn my step sister lat me actually got out the next day as it was the weekend, wow i was aloud out to play? well not play but hang with my friends. Elizabeth my best friend always asked me if i can come out but she never understood why i was never aloud. Dad and Deedee said i was only aloud to go to and from school and out with tem only. I think Marilyn felt bad for me so she let me go.She gave me a curfew of ten. I went to Elizabeths house and told her that i was aloud out, she was thrilled. We didnt realy do to much but this way the time i probably told her everything about how Deedee really hurt me, i told her that she always calls me names, and always hurts me, and that her constant put downs is making me think about leaving again. Elizabeth understood why i needed to leave. She said she loved me and to stay in touch with her. I wondered as i walked home would i do this again? i need to i thought. Should i go while thwy are away?

The whole family came home a week later but let me tell you that week for me was amazing. My birthday was the following day, I wondered what i would get? i didnt ask for anything specific, i didnt even ask for anything. But after dinner and when the table was cleared everyone came back to sit. Dad put three presents on the table, i was so excited. Nobody was even looking at me at all when i opened all three of the gifts, the twins had thier chairs turned to watch tv and Dad and Deedee where no where to be seen and few minutes later i was the only one sitting there. So much for a birthday party, i was so tired of being treated like a nobody in this house. Cant dad see how my soul is breaking? Deedee came baack into the kitchen where i sit alone, i wiped a tear away, she said "you look like your idiot mother" stop crying ugly. This was the day i turned fourteen, She always compaired me to my mother is that why she hated me so much?

If my birthday was not a buig enough disapointment it was time to go to get our hair cuts. The twins and Sharon and I piled in the car, It was my turn to get my hair cut. As i got into the char Deedee told the stylist what hairstyle to give me. Now keep in mind my hair was almost at my shoulders and i was starting to feel pretty again. The stylist asked "wht do you want it cut so short"? i told her that i wasnt aloud to have long hair. I think she was discusted becasue it was almost a crew cut. As i left the chair i looked at the ground while i walked back to the family. The twins just got a trim off thier longer hair, and my sister Sharon had the same cut as i did. That night i went to bed crying, many people at school said "HEY BOY" to me all the time, and this time it was even shorter than ever. How does a heart become so strong i thought? it must be from all this pain i am putting into it.

The next morning it was about five thirty am, whe i was awoken again like i always am by Deedee, she said to hurry up and start fluff picking as there was alot of fluff, i wonder why cant she vacume this up? is she lazy? i started with my room and then the hallway, oh and dare not enter the princess twins room they are sleeping i thought. But as i crawled by thier door i punched it, and yes she saw me do it great! She told me to come to her room and do the picking in there. Deedee was in her bra and shirt getting ready for i guessed another day of hating me, well and her job at the Bay. There she came close to me directing my every pick off her carpet. I dont know what angered her about me but from out of the blue she called my name and when i looked up she kicked me in the face, but i dont think she planned on kicking me in the eye with her wedge shoes. I cried so loud that i thought the whole house would come running, but no one did. Deedee told me to shut up and to continue. I did and by the time eight am rolled around i  had already done more chores then your average stay at home mom. The twins woke up and ran downstairs to watch tv and have breakfast.

Like they always do, I wished all the time that i was like them, no chroes for these girls and they could eat anything they wanted. Thier lunches were amazing, sandwich,cookies,and many other treats like pudding and sweets. Sharon and my lunches were made up of a sandwich and a apple. And we always had to bring home and reuse our brown paper bag until it was torn up. Keep in mind it has been almost two hours since i was kicked in the eye. I went into my room to get dressed with the clothes Deedee layed out for me, and she came in to watch me, and whe i looked at her she said forget it you are staying home today. Why? She told me to put back on my home clothes, which i did. I walked past the mirror in the hallway and saw tat i had a black eye and around my eye was very swollen, that would explain the throbbing pain i was feeling.