Solitary Confinement

Chapter 18 : Overload of stress

A/N : Hey guys... Sorry for slow updates. College seriously takes up all my time nowadays... I started a new book, which for me is an easy write because unlike this book, there isn't anything I need to look up. For this book, I had to do research on the effects of solitary confinement and a ton of other stuff. And with being so stressed out with college, I can just sit down with that book, and just write, and not really have to think about it too much. If you want to read that book, it's called "Foster Brother" and it's about Jeff Sterling, which is Riker's character on Glee. I will try to have consistent updates on this book still. But that book will likely have more frequent updates... Also shoutout to @Awesome54344 and @yAyRyDeLiSbAe for telling me to update. I might not continue with Friday shoutouts because of my schedule, but I'll do random shoutouts. If you want a better chance at a shoutout, make sure to vote and comment.

Chapter 18

Monday...

Riker POV

I took a deep breath. And then another. And another.

I feel a panic attack coming, and I'm attempting to make it go away before it shows up. I'm in history class right now, so... not really an ideal time to feel like I'm dying.

The bell rang, startling me. I grabbed my books, and went to lunch to sit with Rydel. She's really been helping me lately...

I found our table, and sat down. Rydel always gets here a few minutes after me. 

I started eating my lunch because mom said it might help me feel better during the day. Anxiety makes my appetite disappear, but if I have no food in me, I'll have no energy, which leads to me being tired, which makes me less able to control myself.

So, I'm eating lunch, which was a sandwich that mom made me.

Rydel showed up, and sat down across from me.

"How's your day going?" Rydel asked.

"Not as well as I would like..."

"How's the voice?"

"Still telling me to cut. But I thought I was going to have a panic attack last period, but I took deep breaths, and just tried to relax, and it never came."

"Well that's good!"

"Yeah, but I just feel... I don't know how to describe it exactly. It's like I can't really completely relax. Like my body is tense. And I just feel stressed out and anxious. I don't know why."

"Rik, it's the effects of solitary confinement. But I think you're doing better. It just takes time to get back to how things used to be. You're doing good so far."

"I just think... if I can just make a few cuts-"

"Riker."

I sighed.

"I just want the voice to stop..." I said, sadly.

"Riker, mom made you an appointment for Friday. I'm sure you can wait until then. Don't give into the voice. I feel like if you do, it'll just make the voice have more power over you. Don't give into it. Prove you can be strong."

"I'm trying, Rydel... I just... can't take it much longer."

"You can do it, Rik."

Later...

Riker POV

I ran through the halls. Everyone was laughing at me. I had a panic attack in class, and I started crying because it felt like it was never going to end.