Unbidden

Chapter 8

As September rolled in and with it the third anniversary of David’s death, Robin found herself more conflicted than ever.  Todd continued to come over every day after work to help with the horses and their prayer time in the chapel continued to hum with the same strong connection.  Nothing in Todd’s demeanor had changed.  Sometimes Robin wished she could crawl inside his thoughts, just to get an inkling of how he felt.

The anniversary of David’s death still saddened her but it was incredibly different this year.  She knew some of it had to do with her emotions for Todd, but most of the difference came with her ability to let go of the guilt.  She would always love David but she no longer felt tied down by a sense of guilty loyalty.  She felt free to mourn him while still moving on to become someone else.

She sat in her living room one early September evening, absently munching on popcorn and staring blankly at the TV when her doorbell rang.  She jumped, startled out of her thoughts.  Soon she heard her brother’s voice call out, “It’s just me.  Are you decent?”

Robin rolled her eyes.  “Since when does that ever stop you?”

 She heard him thump up the stairs and reached to turn off the TV.

“I’ll have you know,” he answered as he crested the stairs, “that seeing my sister even half-naked is not on my to-do list.”

Robin laughed.  “Good to know.  What are you doing here?”

Sam reached into Robin’s bowl of popcorn to take a handful before flopping onto her loveseat.  “I’m on my way home from the bar.  Tonight was darts and beer with the boys.”

Robin popped some popcorn into her own mouth and nodded.  “I see.  That still doesn’t tell me why you’re here.”

“I could smell the popcorn.”

Robin snorted.  “I don’t doubt it.  Are you ever going to keep food in your own house?”

Sam shrugged.  “I’ll think about it.”

Robin threw a piece of popcorn at him, which he caught and ate.  “Seriously, why are you here Sam?”

“I needed to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“About your future intentions.”

Robin drew her eyebrows and wrinkled her nose.  “My future intentions for what?”

Sam sat up, propping his feet on the hassock and crossing his arms over his chest.  “Oh, for life.  For love.”

“Sam, did I ever tell you that you’re a real pain the butt?”

Sam grinned.  “Occasionally.”

“Well, you are.  Now get to the point.”

Sam glanced over at her and held her gaze, the silliness from moments before gone.  The sudden change stilled Robin’s hand over her bowl.  “What?”

“I came to talk to you about Todd.”

Robin felt her stomach flip-flop.  She sat aside her bowl of popcorn and brushed off her hands.  “What about Todd?”

“How do you feel about him?  Or, really, how do you feel about another relationship in general?”

Robin’s mouth went dry and she felt like she had popcorn pasted to her teeth.  “Why do you want to know?”  She reached for her water glass, desperate for a drink.

“Just level with me Robin.  It’ll be three years since David died and you’ve come a long way since then.  I’ve heard a lot of different feelings from you on your future and I want to know the latest.”