Motel 6 // n.h

[36] Mistakes

  Avery Holmes

  Zayn could tell that something was wrong. I could tell by the way I could feel his eyes on me, and then when I looked in his direction he diverted them away. Playing Monopoly was only to get me away from him, because he had obviously heard us yelling.

  "We're back!" Harry hollered, stepping into the living room with Aimee on his shoulders.

  "I'm a good swimmer." Aimee said seriously. "I wanna show daddy how good I am."

  "Uh, yeah, maybe later baby." I smiled. "But I think it's nap time right now." It was already three, she was supposed to be in bed at around two.

  "But I don't wanna!" Aimee whined. 

  "Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to." I chuckled, although I really wasn't paying attention to anything that was going on, I was just beyond upset. "C'mon, let's get you out of your swimsuit."

  Aimee reached for me and I picked her up, even though she was getting my shirt wet. One thing that I learned was that so many things change when you become a mother- after getting spit up on time after time, you really don't care if you get something on your shirt.

  "Where daddy?" Aimee asked as we walked in to the bedroom. I bit my lip and glanced at the bathroom door, he was in there getting a shower.

  "Don't worry about him, Aims. You wanna try wearing panties to bed?" I asked, holding up her orange underwear that said Sunday. She nodded and I began to change her so that she was all ready for bed.

  "Mommy," Aimee said as she got comfy in bed with Timmy the Turtle under her arm. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong Aimee, why do you say that?" I chuckled.

  "Because," She sighed, brushing loose strands of hair out of her face. "Something is wrong."

  "Don't worry about it." I smiled, kissing her forehead. "Just go to sleep and everything will be okay when you wake up." I promised her.

  "I love you to the moon." She said, kissing me nightly on the nose.

  "I love you to the moon and back."

  I knew that after being active and having swam all afternoon, she would be out quick. I decided that, since I had already gone through so much today, I deserved a nap as well. All I wanted was for Niall to get done in the bathroom and cuddle with me, but I knew I shouldn't be getting my hopes up.

  I crawled into bed, my chin already bobbing. I wanted to be able to stand up against Marcus, I wanted to be able to tell him to back off and give me space, but I was scared. I was too scared to speak up for myself, which is why Jake always pushed me around for years. Because I was too afraid.

  I felt like a coward. Maybe, if I would have done something I could have prevented things from going bad today. But, when Jake held me like that, he had my arms pinned down to my sides, I couldn't just push him away. It all must've looked so bad to Niall.

  After waiting for about ten minutes, when Aimee was surely asleep, I lost it. I cried and cried and cried, wishing that Marcus would just go away. I normally wouldn't' have let things like this bother me so much, but for some strange reason he reminded me so much like Jake.