Crazy (BoyxBoy)

Opposites Attract

"Do you have pesto?" I asked, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets that I remembered stocking with spices I once used to cook meals for Freida and I. It seemed like such a long time ago and it was bittersweet, remembering everything that was shared over two hot plates and the family game show channel.

"Yes, in the back corner. Don't use it much, I'm not a big fan." Vaughn muttered, clearing his throat and adjusting his position in the hard wooden chair. He sat at the kitchen table with a black t-shirt, grey sweatpants, and white socks on. His leg was balanced on his knee and his glasses were hanging from the thin bridge of his nose as he looking down at his book. For being someone in his early twenties, he was an old soul. I could tell, the fact that he got embarrassed when he absentmindedly runs his hands across my back as he's slipping past at work. He didn't want to admit he was falling, and yet I could see it clearly like he'd shouted it from the rooftops. I knew it because I felt the same way.

"What are you reading?" I asked him. He looked up for a second and then his eyes flicked back to the pages like he was intent on finishing the sentence he had been on before answering.

"Biography of one of my favorite psychologists. He's talking about opposite action and basically doing what you wouldn't in order to preserve relationships with people you're close with in situations involving conflict, as well as other situations." Vaughn was smart. He did math in his head and didn't have to look up words in dictionaries. He was always reading something and sometimes I liked to read over his shoulder and try to imagine what the words might mean to him. I couldn't help but think he was reading this book and picturing me in these situations.

"So what, instead of blowing up at someone, you...don't?" He nodded. "Yeah, basically. It's an interesting study, I've always wanted to study things like this, things like controlling your feelings with counter attacks." I shrugged. I didn't share his interest at all. I was the opposite. I didn't care how my brain worked. Knowing wouldn't fix it. "I don't like people digging around in my head." I muttered, adding another spice to the frying pan already full of delicious ingredients. "Psychology is difficult. Not everyone gets it right because it's not something we can just observe. It's all inside. Sure we can tell when someone is thinking, or not thinking, but can we tell what they are thinking? How they are thinking? No. It's a guessing game."

I could literally see his brain leaking out of his ears, his eyes gleaming, face flushed. He really enjoyed this stuff and while it felt good to know he wanted to share his interests with me, I was feeling overwhelmed. Vaughn set his book down on the table and stood, trapizing his was over to me and curled his finger in one of my curls, tugging it gently.

"I want to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours," he mumbled, his eyes catching mine as my breath caught in my throat. He was beautiful to me, and that scared me. As he spoke again, I almost jumped at the contrast from the last time he'd spoken. His voice was harsh, scratchy, and hollow. It didn't seem to fit his expression, which seeming like one of complete admiration. "I want to know what they say to you. Why you ignore them when you know you shouldn't. They know what's best for you. You don't know anything about this world. You're kind of stupid, you know that, right?" tried to focus on the pot and what I was doing, but I could feel his breath, sweet in one moment and rancid the next. I flinched away from his touch.

"That's not funny, Vaughn. You know h-how I go g-get when you say stuff like t-that." He sighed. He didn't seem like my stern, guarded boyfriend. He seemed like a stranger with a mask on.

"Really, Cam? Do you know how easy it was to trap you here? We drugged you." I shook my head fast. "No." I looked at my half empty glass of water on the counter and gulped, feeling bile rise up in my throat. "Yes we did. We drugged you. We couldn't just let you leave, it's not safe out there. There are bad people out there, we couldn't let them hurt you, hurt is bad. Hurt makes you weak. We're just protecting you. We wouldn't want to see anything happen to that pretty little face of yours." I shut my eyes and tried to block it out, tried to stop this all from reaching my ears but it didn't work. It was true, there are bad people out there and some people probably want to hurt me, to make me weak. I hated that it was true. Vaughn had reached up and put his hand around my throat. He was tightening his grip, and I felt myself gasp for air as he squeezed, hatred on his face.