Crazy (BoyxBoy)

Overwhelmed

Vaughn hands were dangerously close to the lip of my jeans and his lips attacking mine hungrily. I let out involuntary little whimpers as I felt the lump in his pants rub against my own. I didn't understand the feelings I was experiencing, but I knew I wanted more of it. I felt like my heart was going to pop from all the pressure I was applying to it by even being near Vaughn.

I felt scared and nervous and guilty for some reason. I wanted Vaughn to continue touching me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to take that. Already, I felt like a live wire, my skin burning up everywhere our bodies connected.

Vaughn's lips left mine and trailed down to my neck, where he kissed and nipped as I melted in his arms, hands at my sides and knees weak and wobbling. I was burning, so hot I thought I might burn out. I set my hands on Vaughn's shoulders and shoved, causing Vaughn to pull away, breathless and confused.

He let his arms fall and I backed away from him, beginning to pace and held my head, needing to remember how to breathe.

"Cam," Vaughn's husky voice chimed. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. I was so embarrassed by my attraction to him. I was mortified. I had never felt like this for anyone and all of the kissing, all of the secret smiles and sitting all too close at the meeting last week was enough to make me want to crawl under a rock.

I felt like something bad was coming. It was all too perfect. All too inviting and new and exciting. "Cam, I'm sorry, I got a little too into it, I just can't keep my hands off you," Vaughn sighed.

I finally took a deep breath and turned to meet his eyes. He was leaning against the desk, his maroon dress shirt unbuttoned and his curly hair a wild jumble.

I made my way over to him and straightened up his hair without a word, going to button his shirt back up. "Cam, stop. Stop it, look at me, please," Vaughn pleaded.

When I didn't look at him, Vaughn leaned in closer to me, bending down and pressed our lips together again, sending chills to my spine. He looped his fingers through my belt and dragged me forward, fussing with the buckle on it and I broke our kiss and started to back away again, but he grabbed my hand and spun me around so my back was to him.

Vaughn wrapped his arms around my waist and began kissing my neck again. I bit my lip trying not to give into my body. I had never had any kind of relationship, let alone a physical one. I didn't even know if I was reacting the way I should. Only that whenever he kissed me, my toes curled inside my shoes and my stomach did flips of happiness.

I just wish I wasn't so worried about his intentions, but it was all I could think about. "Vaughn," I stuttered out. He hummed in response.

"I'm uncomfortable. I'm sorry, it's not you, I love what you're doing, but I just...I'm overwhelmed. I'm going to pass out if you keep touching me." I told him. He sighed sadly but let his arms drop to his sides.

"I need to get to work," I told him, reaching behind him for my hat and putting it on. Vaughn frowned. "That's it? You're going to leave me like this and just go bake some fucking bread?" He asked, shocked.

"Well, you're welcome to come join me." I told him, halfway to the door by now. He grinned and started to follow me, buttoning up the rest of his shirt.

Once we entered the kitchen, I got started and he watched, occasionally helping me with dishes and giving me butterfly kisses in between batches that made my head all foggy and discombobulated.

"Tell me about your family," Vaughn said suddenly. I shrugged. "My parents do the best they can for my sister and I. I don't have anyone but them, really. We have a small family but it's enough. When my parents found out I was sick, mom stopped working and devoted all her time to being my nurse, or my teacher, or my therapist,  whatever I needed her to be. My dad's always worked. He's always worrying about medical bills and groceries and making sure we're all happy. Sometimes I think they both get overwhelmed dealing with all of my problems."

Vaughn shook his head. "Bullshit. I bet they love you and wouldn't have you any other way." I put the pan I was holding into the sink and watched as his arms flexed as he turned the water back on, rinsing all of the oil residue off of it. "Oh yeah? My dad has wanted to put me in the hospital ever since my senior year of high school, where I almost burnt the entire school down."

"How?"

"I set fire to the carpeted staircase." I muttered. I didn't like telling this story. "Why?" He asked slowly, scrubbing the pan now, his long fingers gripping the sponge confidently. He was comfortable in the kitchen, just like me. I liked that. I liked thinking of us cooking dinner together. I wanted that.

"The man-"

"In the black robe?" He finished. I nodded. "Yeah. I was hallucinating then. Thought I had to destroy the building because there were people in the walls spying on me. I...I thought I could hear them plotting to kill students. Turns out it was my own twisted thoughts. I couldn't tune them out, either. That was my first real auditory hallucination. All the others were delusions. I could see stuff happening, and the things I was seeing would be telling me things, but that was the first time I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I was tripping over nothing but my own thoughts. I didn't know what was going on then. The voices were as clear as day. I had someone in one ear telling me what I had to do, and I had someone in the other ear telling me there were CIA agents climbing in the walls."

Vaughn's back muscles tensed before he relaxed and turned to me, looking into my eyes like I was one of the world's seven wonders. "And my grandma knew about this?" I nodded.

"Before her dementia got too bad she drove up to see me in the hospital. I remember being so scared and ashamed I thought she was there to hurt me. She just sat with me, brought me some home-cooked chicken noodle soup and read me stories, keeping my brain preoccupied. She let me name items on the menu here and I helped her create new dishes. It helped me get better. Just knowing I had someone else believing in me. Believing I could be normal and lead a life that wasn't so empty."

I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "She was my best friend. I cherished our friendship so much. I still do. All of her things in her house that you replaced,"

"I sold them. I thought it was all just junk. Broken tables, old dusty books, banged up pots and pans. I'm sorry, Cam. Maybe if I knew her as well as you, I would have cherished her memory more, but I was so angry that she had given you the restaurant. You deserve it. You really do." He reached up to wipe away my tears.

"I don't want it. I can't run a restaurant."

"I'll help you. I think we make a pretty good team." I smiled at him. "Really?" He nodded. "Yes, really. Those donuts are ready for frosting," he said, shuffling past me but dropping a kiss on my forehead in passing.

"I've got to start on my paperwork."

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I'm sooooooo sorry it took me this long to write again, but here's another chapter.