Crazy (BoyxBoy)

Breakdown

"How's it going?" My dad was sitting across the table, drinking his morning tea. His shoulder length hair was wet and pulled up. Farrah was in his lap playing a game on the IPad, holding his thumb in her small hand as she did. I shrugged. I didn't feel great today. It was going to be a bad day. I could tell. The Man in the black robe didn't even have to warn me.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned. I nodded. "I will be. I'm just not feeling good today." I realized that answering "No," to the question, "Are you okay?" led to visits to the doctor. My therapist said I had to be specific if I wanted them to understand. My parents were very over protective, and I love them for it, but it wasn't always so convenient. Sometimes I was just upset and wanted to sit and stew in my emotions rather than share them, but it would have to do.

"Wanna tell me what's got you down? Maybe we can fix it." I shrugged. I didn't. I didn't even know what the problem was. I'd worked four days so far this week. Vaughn was scheduling me for wacky hours and it was making me frazzled. I liked the system before because I didn't have to deal with so many people and it was comfortable and not so busy. He'd been distant and cold and I know I only interacted with him a few times, but he seemed so kind and gentle before. I didn't know why he was being so brash with me. It made me think I was doing something wrong.

Or maybe he wanted me to quit instead of firing me because he didn't want to have that on his conscious. Whatever it was, it was hurting my feels, and they were already so fragile. "Work is a hostile environment for me right now." I told him. Mom came bouncing down the stairs with a phone to her ear. She went straight for the door and swung it open.

Then all I could hear was screaming and girly giggles along with sappy 'I miss you's. Soon mom was leading a leather jacket clad blonde into the dining room. Farrah jumped from dad's lap and ran to her. "Auntie Tay!" She shouted, reaching her arms up, asking to be picked up. Aunt Tay picked Farrah up and delivered a bunch of kisses to her face, moving her to sit on her side as she walked over to my dad and gave him a hug.

"Hey, long time, no see." She muttered. Her voice only got deeper and raspier in age thanks to her constant chain smoking in her earlier years. She put Farrah down and turned to me. "Cam! Give me a hug before I put you in a choke hold." I grinned and stood, giving her the best bear hug I could.

Aunt Tay was mom's best friend. She's been in the room when I was born. She took care of me a lot when I was a baby and helped my parents. She also was one of my favorite people. She knew how my mind worked. She helped me out a lot growing up.

"How are you?" She asked. I shrugged as soon as she let go of me. She shrugged back mockingly. "What, did you forget how to use your words today?"

"Go easy on him, Taylor," Dad warned, but she only rolled her eyes and pulled out a box of cigarettes. "Let's go have a smoke." I smiled and followed her out onto the back porch. She sat on the step and I sat beside her. She took a cigarette out, handed one to me, and then put her own in her mouth, taking a lighter out of her boot.

"What's wrong now?" She asked, lighting my cigarette for me. I took a drag. It tasted so damn good. I needed one. I quit smoking about a year ago, but every once in a while, it was just what I needed. "Don't know. It just sucks being me sometimes. I don't understand people sometimes. It's like, I try to, but only get myself in trouble." She leaned back and let out a low chuckle. "I know. People suck. Sometimes you just gotta say, 'fuck 'em', and do you."

"I don't know what me is, Auntie. I barely know what anything is. I'm losing my shit. Yesterday I hallucinated so bad my mom had to slap me to get me to stop screaming in my sleep. It's like the more upset I am, the worse this thing gets."

"What was the hallucination?" She asked, raising her eyebrows in interest. "I...I thought my boss was stabbing me repeatedly in the chest with a cake knife." She let out a cackle. "Why?" She laughed out, taking a slow drag.