It All Started with a Tweet [Zayn Malik]

16: The Weight On My Shoulders

So sorry this is late! Hope you enjoy it!

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Zayn started talking to me again. Our conversations usually took place at night, when everyone else was asleep. He’d be the last thing I’d think of before drifting off, making him the main subject of most of my dreams.

                But as for Freddie, his attitude towards me was quite the contrary. After he’d discovered Zayn and I engaged in a kiss and heard me admit that his and my relationship with each other wasn’t genuine, he just gave me a lengthy, piercing glare with flared nostrils and stalked back into the school, too distracted to worry about where he was supposed to be going. In the days following, not one word was exchanged between the two of us. But seeing him was unavoidable, and in those moments where we’d catch each other’s eyes we’d be quick to look away, but only after Freddie had satisfied himself by shooting me a glare which could make an innocent little puppy feel guilty.

                “He just seems to be popping up everywhere.” I complained one afternoon while rubbing my eyes dejectedly. “And he just gives me this piercing stare which only makes me feel worse.”

                “Think of how he’s feeling.” Lani perked up. I’d noticed in conversations about Freddie, Lani suddenly wasn’t the bubbly, enthusiastic girl we knew her to be. She hardly offered anything to the discussion, just sat there staring at the ground. She bit her lip after letting these words escape, evidently regretting them.

                “Yeah, I know, he’s heartbroken and all--“ I started

                “You led him on. You manipulated him. You took advantage of the fact that he really fancied you, and then you tore him to pieces. It’s awful, Avalon, what you did.” she continued bitterly, gaining more confidence with every word and keeping her focus on the blades of grass she’d picked in her hands before ripping them in half to demonstrate.

                “I know. We’ve established that.” I said. Kate just watched with wide eyes as she chewed on her sandwich.

                “So stop making it out like it’s his fault for making you feel worse. He has every right to hate you. If I was him, I’d be organising revenge right about now. Just accept the fact that you’re in the wrong, and he isn’t.”

                We all went silent, minus Lani huffing once she’d completed her little rant. The agonizing stillness remained until Lani decided to hesitantly add something extra.

                “And Freddie ... he’s special. Different. He’s not like all the other right twats that go to this school. He didn’t deserve any of it.” she concluded in a quiet voice, not daring to meet anyone’s eyes. Kate and I exchanged looks.

                “Lani,” Kate started, keeping a form lock on my gaze as if not sure if she should continue. “Is there something you’d like to tell us?”

                Lani sighed deeply before burying her face in her palms “Don’t laugh.” she mumbled through her cupped hands “But,” She let out a big breath to rid all the nerves and we all geared up for whatever confession she had up her sleeve. “I fancy Freddie.” It was out in the open now. We sort of expected her to admit something along the lines of this when she started saying how special he was, but prior to that conversation we’d had no clue. She kept it hidden so well. It explained a few things, like how when we were formulating the plan to get Zayn to talk to me again, when Freddie was confirmed to be playing a part in it she was suddenly less enthusiastic. We always saw Lani as the one who was so invested with other people’s relationships, crushes and gossip that she didn’t have time for her own. But in fact, she did. And surprisingly she wasn’t keen on sharing it with anyone.