Nevermore

Chapter 24

S H A W N

Last night, Shawn had asked Luca if he could stay in his dorm for the night and sleep on the floor there, because he didn't want to be in the same room as Nicholas. The accusations he'd had to endure felt like a dagger to his heart, but the pain it had caused him was nothing compared to knowing that he had probably lost his friend forever.

    When Shawn woke up, he saw Luca across the room, buttoning up his white shirt, which was already tucked neatly inside his trousers.

    "Morning," Shawn said sleepily as he sat up, yawning.

He winced in pain when his lower back gave a sharp ache from sleeping on the hard floor the whole night. He was still in his last night's trousers, but he was feeling so uncomfortable that he had to at least take off his shirt.

    "Good morning." Luca sent him a little smile before moving toward the mirror to wear on his tie. Shawn watched him with amusement as Luca struggled to get it right a few times, only to screw it up again and again.

    Shawn let out a lazy laughter. "What exactly are you doing?"

    "What does it look like I'm doing?" Luca was saying, but he groaned when a simple mistake ruined the whole process, and so he took off the tie again. "Ugh! You distracted me."

    "I really don't think I was the problem." He grinned.

But when he saw Luca trying to tie it for the third time, he got to his feet and walked toward him, not bothering to wear his shirt and cover up his bare chest.

"Here, give it to me. That was too painful to watch," said Shawn.

    Luca hesitated at first, looking up into Shawn's eyes. Letting out a sigh in defeat, he took his tie off and handed it to Shawn resignedly.

    Luca's white collar was already up, and so, without a single word, Shawn wrapped the tie around his neck. He noticed that there was a bit of dampness in Luca's golden hair; he had probably woken up early to take a shower.

    Shawn crossed the wide end of the tie over its narrow end. He was standing so close to Luca that he could smell the vanilla scent of his shampoo.

    He then looped the tie's ends to create a knot. Just as he was doing so, his hand accidently brushed against the bare skin of Luca's neck. Shawn felt a sudden shiver rush down his spine at the touch.

Scared of the strange feeling it had instigated within him, he got the urge to pull his hand back, to step away from Luca, but something was stopping him; as though invisible strings had clutched onto him, pulling him closer, refusing to let him go.

    Shawn took a shaky breath and pulled the tie's wide end up through the loop he had created, ignoring the loud batter of his own heart. He couldn't help the ache that was growing inside him, begging him to get closer, pleading for another touch.

    He tried to push the thoughts out of his head as he slowly began to tighten the knot. It always took him ten seconds to tie his own tie, but now he was taking longer than ever, as though deliberately lingering at every step, never wishing to let go.

    "Listen," Shawn started to say as he began to fold down Luca's white collar. Perhaps if he broke the silence, this unexplainable ache inside him would be shattered along with it. "I want you to know that I had nothing to do with Nancy's death. I... I would never..." His voice trailed off as he looked away. The tie was done.

    "I know," Luca whispered, and when Shawn looked up at him again, he saw that he was smiling at him sympathetically.

Shawn felt calmer at once, but then, why was his heart still beating so loudly?