Limerence | A James & Lily Story

Blurs

     "Gentleman," Sirius speaks with an important tone of voice, leaning intently over his breakfast. "I have the ultimate paradox question."

      Remus quirks an eyebrow at him over his mug of coffee. "Oh, I have to hear this."

     "What happens if you put a werewolf on the moon?" Sirius raises his head to look at the enchanted ceiling of the great hall, knitting his eyebrows together as if it this question is the most important topic in the world. 

     "He would die from lack of oxygen and probably explode," Pete answers quickly through a mouthful of hotcakes. 

      The corner of Remus' mouth tugs into a smirk. "He's right, you know," he answers. "Science is an amazing subject the wizarding community seems to ignore."

      "I never said we would send the werewolf to the moon without an oxygen tank, you absolute monsters," Sirius mocked horror, throwing a hand to his chest. 

     I roll my eyes at his over exaggerated behavior, but I hide an amused smile in my coffee nonetheless. My smile quickly fades, as if the happiness is zapped straight from my bloodstream. My stomach lurches in a familiar way, and guilt gnaws on my bones. I can't be happy when Lily is so upset and so upset with me. Stay the hell away from me. It's like my body won't physically let me be happy while she is miserable.

     "Prongs!"

     "What?" I demand startled, looking up as the coffee sloshes onto the table. 

     "You're doing it again," Peter comments, lifting his eyebrows in worry.

     "Doing what?" I demand, mopping up the spilt liquid with a spare napkin.

     "Looking bloody depressing," Sirius answers this time. "But, I mean, what else is new?"

     "Shove off," I mutter, downing more of my coffee, occupying my mouth so I don't have to talk anymore.

     "Prongs," Remus speaks carefully, glancing up from the Daily Prophet. "Lily didn't break up with you, you know?"

     I shift uncomfortably in my seat, lowering my eyes to the table. "'Stay the hell away from me' sounds a lot like a break up to me."

     "She just needs her space," Remus replies. "It's understandable."

     "How much space though?" I feel the panic begin to rise in my chest, a feeling that is becoming all to familiar. My muscles begin to jump, and I get that feeling of not wanting to sit still. I want, I need to be anywhere but here, doing anything but staying immobile.

     I stand from my seat, and my three best mates watch me with wary eyes. "I'll see you lot later, not feeling much up to class today."

     Before anyone can reply to my remark, I walk away. A restless feeling has settled into my bones, and all I want to do is run. I need to escape my life for just a little while. My legs are jumpy as I jog from the Great Hall. 

     I'm out the front entrance without a backwards glance, no cares as to if any professor has seen me. I'm running across the grounds as soon as my feet hit grass, an ache building in my muscles.

     "'Ello, James," Hagrid greets as I run past his hut. "Where yer going?"

     "Hiya, Hagrid," I answer quickly, not slowing down. "You didn't see me, okay?"

     "Alrigh'?" 

      I keep running towards the edge of the forbidden forest. As soon as I enter the depths of the forest, enough of the trees and darkness shielding me from view, I stop in my tracks, inhaling deeply as my body is in dire need of air.