To Be A Runner

Chapter 50: Unsteady

My hand runs back and forth along the dulling hardwood floor of Janine's living room. I can't say how long we've gone over the plans, even though they are so easy to memorize. Most of the runners have left, since their job is just to stay and defend if New Canton actually infiltrates Abel. Only five runners are actually leaving the base: Runners Three through Seven-Simon, Jody, myself, Maggie, and Evan.

"You understand the importance of your jobs?" Janine asks, and we all nod, and Sam looks like he wants to bash his head into a wall because he unfortunately he has had to stay and listen with us as well since he is our operator.

I try not to get to worried, but many times I've caught my hand reaching up to grab an imaginary backpack strap during Janine's long speeches and lectures. The thought of something going wrong frightens me more than I actually thought it would.

Of course if New Canton runners sneak in we'll have quite a few of our runners with quite a few guns ready to do what needs to be done, even if we'd rather not shoot anyone outright. We're hoping we'll be able to stop them before they reach the Township, doing so without killing anyone.

But still there's always that fear-that nagging voice-that whispers how something could go wrong. What if New Canton's plan is better? What if, even with the knowledgeable of them coming, they still manage to get in and raid Abel?

I try to swallow down the knot in my throat, but I can't. I can't shake the feeling something will go wrong, but it could be because of that fact I am bad luck walking.

"Five... Five," Jody nudges me with her elbow, and in an instant I snap my gaze to her. She sends me an amused grin. "The meeting's ended. You've just been sitting here staring into space for the past minute."

I wince in embarrassment, looking away as my face starts to get warm.

"Don't blame her for spacing out," Simon grins. "I can only listen to Jenny repeat a plan so many times."

I admire him so much. He's the only one who's brave enough to give Janine a nickname, and surprisingly Janine hasn't killed him for it.

"You look a bit worried, Five," He continues. "Afraid something might go wrong?"

'Define wrong.'

"I guess she must be used to worryin'," Jody says. "Has there ever been a mission you've gone on that hasn't had a bump in the road?"

I ponder on the thought. 'There was the time me and Eight stopped a traitor from giving New Canton our tech."

She scoffs in disbelief. "So the one mission that goes right is because something went wrong beforehand."

"Don't worry about it, Five. We always make it out fine." Simon shrugs and holds out his hand to help me. I reach out to take it, but before I can he wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls me up. It's abnormal, which is why I stare at my wrist a few seconds after he lets me go, but it isn't exactly weird, so I shrug it off. "Chin up, Five. It'll all work out."

That's what I pray for as I walk away from Janine's house and to the showers, which was something I failed to get after returning from today's run. I had just gotten my clothing to change into when I was called, so I've been toting it around with me and kept it in my lap during Janine's briefing of the plan.

The hot water helps soothe the afterthought of my headache from earlier, but it doesn't get rid of it completely-mostly because of my worrying and thoughts of doubt. But I don't think anyone could blame me, because after all, Jody is right on my missions always encountering some sort of obstacle or set back, especially the few recently with Van Ark and Jeffro.