This Empty Northern Hemisphere (A Mumford and Sons fanfiction)

Chapter XXX: So Far Out of Hand

Chapter XXX: So Far Out of Hand

Winston is thankful to the Dwane family. They’re an amazing bunch, and none of them act any differently towards him during dinner that night. He has to wonder if Ted told them not to make a big deal of the incident.

Dinner is still rather quiet, but Ted rests his hand on Winston’s knee, as if to comfort him and maybe even to assure himself he’s still there. He can’t gather up the courage to contribute to conversation unless someone else brings him into one first, but nobody seems to mind. He never had family meals at home. Not civil ones like this, at least.

Win doesn’t feel much like eating, only managing to force down a small portion of the setting in front of him. He feels like shit for making them worry, but he plays it off as just being nauseous from the sight of blood earlier. Honestly though, he just really isn’t hungry. He’s lost his appetite, and though he wishes for nothing more than to show his gratitude for the warm place to stay and the food being given to him, he just can't bring himself to eat.

Ted is looking concerned, but Kate keeps the conversations alive, even when she has no story in mind that she wants to tell. Cherry chats excitedly too, telling little stories, or asking questions about things she would never ask her own parents. By the time everyone has finished, Kate even offers to clean up, prompting Winnie and Ted to go watch a movie or hang out upstairs.

“Are you sure you don’t want help?” Ted asks politely, stacking the plates for her.

Kate waves him off. “I’ve got it. You need to stay off your feet anyway.”

“I wanna help!” Cherry says happily. Kate relents, even though she’s still running a fever, figuring that the boys probably want some alone time.

Ted lets out a silent sigh. He’s actually somewhat glad his sister refused his request. He really wants to stay with Winnie to try and bring him back from that dark place he got caught in again. He had noticed he hadn’t been too keen on eating, and that worried him. Winston is already as thin as a rail and Ted has no idea the last time he had eaten a good meal.

The blonde boy stands, making sure all of his weight is held on his good leg, and hops back toward the living room to retrieve his crutches.Winston follows behind him hesitantly as Ted leads him back upstairs.

They crash in the guest room, both falling into bed silently.

“Are you okay?” Ted asks quietly.

Win isn’t sure how to answer, immediately going to his default response. “I’m fine.”

“You know you can tell me anything, right? I don’t want you to lie about being all right just because you don’t want me to worry,” Ted informs him seriously, taking his hand gently.

Winston stares down at their intertwined fingers, unable to meet Ted’s gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve apologized at least twenty times now. It’s okay, Win.”

Sad mahogany eyes meet look up at Ted. “It’s not okay. It was stupid, I didn’t mean to…” Winston is at a loss for words, grimacing at just the thought of what he had done to himself, the frustration of not being able to control it.

“Everybody has bad days. Relapses happen, and I don’t think any less of you. I just want you to be happy.” Ted pulls him into his arms, giving him a sweet little kiss on the forehead. He wishes he could protect him forever and ever, never let anything sad or hurtful reach him for the rest of eternity.

Tears are leaking from the corners of Winnie’s eyes, and he doesn’t know why he’s suddenly filled with such a resounding feeling of sorrow. It’s as if his entire mind has been cleared of every emotion; one tiny speck of sadness is bouncing off the inside his skull. It aches so badly, the sadness. The echoes hurt more than the depression itself.