Last Thirty Days

Third Day

 Third day...

Today's Thursday. The next day would be the big day, and I still had gotten no response from Alicia. I was scared. I didn't want to expect that she'd smile at me later and say that I should've asked her personally, and giggle so sweetly. Having a pretty face and gracious personality, it's safe to say that a lot of boys here in our campus would want to be her date.

Alexis told me that he already left his gift and letter inside the girl's locker. Well, I hope his girl wouldn't let him down. We're both waiting for a response, and that's somehow funny to think.

What if we're both dumped?

We'll probably date each other instead. Haha!

I had somehow expected that she'd respond in the art club, but I was wrong. In the hallway, I saw her, and she instantly approached me. I suddenly felt nervous and fearful, but somehow excited.

        "Hey, I read your letter yesterday evening. I really am happy that you thought of inviting me! But I'm afraid I can't answer you now. Can you wait until tomorrow?"

I didn't know what to think. It's like I was put in the middle of a yes and a no. I wondered why she would make me wait until tomorrow. But that would be the day itself. It would be too much of a risk. If she'd decline, then I would be left alone wearing all that gallant suit that Alex had prepared for me. Regardless, my reply was,

        "I, I think that's fine."

        "I really am sorry. I know this is your first time, but I'll respond tomorrow. To be fair, I'll let you know that there's someone unknown to me who also asked me out for tomorrow. I want to know who that guy is, that's why I can't answer you right now. I hope you understand."

I nodded.

        "I truly understand. I'm not disappointed, so don't worry," then I smiled. Just to comfort her somehow.

She smiled, thanked me, and left. I knew I had rivals in the first place, so I shouldn't be so disappointed. At the very least, she still told me the truth in a really nice way. That's already fine with me.

 During lunch, I told Alex about what happened in the hallway.

        "She told me that she's still in the middle of making her decision. She'll tell me tomorrow, whether she accepts me as her date, or what. That's fine."

        "What? Fine you say? Have you gone nuts? If she rejects you, you'll be alone!"

        "You're there. I don't mind," I said.

        "Then what if my girl accepts mine? I'll be busy with the lady! I can't promise you that I'll be able to entertain you that way," Alex said with a worried expression.

        "Don't worry, that's okay! I can enjoy myself. Trust me.", I smiled just so he'd feel better.

But I wasn't totally fine with whatever I said.

At home, I told my mom about what happened that bothered me. She just noticed that I wasn't fine, so I told her everything.

        "I don't want to worry him, though I have this feeling that the girl will reject me."

Mom smiled sweetly while washing her hands, after cooking our dinner.

        "If she says no to you, that's okay. Alex shouldn't be worried about you. You can meet friends there. I'm sure there are lots who would attend without a date. You can pick one."

        "But you know I'm not good with that sort of thing."

        "Well, if you don't want to worry your friend, you should try."

I didn't speak. But she was somehow right, anyway. But I really was not good with socializing. I didn't know what to think anymore.

This was the first time that I didn't sleep early because I wasn't so excited for tomorrow. I wanted to keep my mind off the worries for tomorrow so I entertained myself by sneaking inside my mom's room, and tried to find my old stuff. I thought it would be interesting to remember my childhood through them.

 I opened the old cabinet, and there I saw my mom's old necklace, ear rings, and bracelets. I also saw my mom's old novels and diary. I tried to read what's inside, but I couldn't read it clearly. Then at the bottom of the cabinet I saw a brown box that seemed to be a little too old. I opened it and saw a picture of a baby, a baby's shirt, and a blue bonnet. I took the picture and tried to recognize it.

        "Who's this baby? I'm sure this isn't me." I thought.

Sure the baby really wasn't me. Mom always showed me my pictures when I was just months old and I hadn't seen this baby until now. A cousin perhaps? Did I have a cousin? Whatever. 

I heard footsteps coming close, so I quickly returned the picture inside the box, and then closed the cabinet. I hid under my parents' bed.

        "Your son's becoming a man now. I think there's someone he really likes in their campus," Mom said.

        "What? We can't let that happen! What if he gets hurt in the end?" Dad replied in a mixture of worry and anger.

        "Why do you think so? We should let him get hurt if that's so, because that's one way to learn, and grow up. We can't hold him tightly especially now that he's growing. He must learn to stand by himself. We can't protect him all the time," Mom said.

        "Why can't we? As long as we're here, we can't let him get harmed! I don't want to lose another child. We can't!"

        "We're not losing him, Louie! What are you thinking? He's not marrying yet. Are you crazy?!"

My parents were fighting because of Alicia. I didn't want to show myself, but I couldn't stand to stay quiet here while they're fighting in front of me. I showed myself, and they were shocked.

        "C-claude? What are you-"

        "You're fighting because I found some friend. She's not my girlfriend yet! She's just my friend. It's my first time to meet someone like Alex, so I was really happy. What are you guys thinking, huh? I'm not a boy, so will you please let me become a man?"

I walked out, and none of them spoke. I locked myself inside my room, and felt my heart skipping beats. My chest hurt. I needed to rest and calm myself. Mom knocked, and asked whether I needed my medicine. I said no.

I started recalling their arguments and suddenly felt confused with one thing. Dad said, "I don't want to lose 'another' child." Another child, he said? Did he lose a child before? So did he have a child other than me? But I thought I was their only child?

What have they kept from me in 17 years?