Broken.

Loss.

And then there's nothing.

We often think about many things, completely unrealistic things in our life. We find catching ourself staring at a wall or the sky deep in thoughts, without even knowing what we were thinking about. Our deepest thoughts come pouring out on a restless night when we suddenly wake up shivering and trembling, covered in sweat even though the weather is just fine.

That is the time we face our true fears. People often ask me what my fear is. The answer is simple really, but just for them. I fear loss.

LOSS
▶ noun - the fact or process of losing something or someone.
▪ the feeling of grief after losing someone or something of value.
▪ a person who or thing that is badly missed when lost.

So when I lost you, I figured I would be completely torn for quite a long time. To be frank, I was petrified of the very thought. But then again, it wasn't my decision to make.
Yes, I did miss you dearly. No, I was not over you, yet. I still had to learn the art of 'moving on'.

You taught me a lot of things, which I am grateful for. 
The things you cling on to don't always stay. Instead they vanish, to show us, that they have their own free will. That they're not chained to us like we were to them. 
They teach us that maybe we were meant to wait forever, or meant to be forever alone.
They teach us that somebody somewhere, no matter how far, will always care for you.
They teach us that hurting someone just because they did, is not really a good idea.
They teach us that time is the best healer.
They teach us to never lose hope or give up.
The teach us to man up and face our problems bravely.
They show us who our real friends are.
They teach us that in the end, you always walk alone.
Finally, they teach us that chocolates and ice creams help alot.

Okay, no. I won't spend my life mulling over things and crying like hell. Its either one way or the other. And that's fate. There is no other road. No other square to move on to. No other way to forget what all happened. No other way to actually be jolly after being all glum. But, I try.

I also wait. Wait for you to realize and talk. Wait for this to end so that maybe I could move on. Wait so that life teaches me another lesson, less brutally. Wait for some happiness. Wait for you.