before :: muke au

day :: 22-30

1/30

luke,

writing in this journal has turned into something i look forward to into something i dread. you do not know how numb i feel.

then again, you probably never will.

it's been a little over a week since i went to the Mexican restraunt with you and jade. you're probably wondering, what's going through his head? is he going to kill himself?

no, I'm not going to kill myself.

yet.

but my mind does not think, for it is clouded with images of you. you don't leave my head. you never leave.

you're always there, smiling that stupid smile of yours. and for a moment, i become happy. then, i remember.

jade.

the name burns my throat even when i do not speak it. she's yours. you're hers.
this doesn't make sense.

- michael

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