Love Me Back To Life (Preview)

A Place To Call Home

"So where do we start?" Grace asks me once she hops into the front seat of my car. We decided to take mine instead of hers because it'd be easier for me to drive through old streets than give directions on where McKenzie, George and I used to hang out. I go to start up the car and my hand hangs onto the keys as I realize that I have not one clue on where to start this hunt.

"I don't know." I say in defeat.

The brand new perspective I left the coffee shop with only moments before has now left me. It came quick and left even faster. I fall back against my seat and feel sadness start to make its decent from my head down to my heart and before it can go any further I notice Grace's hand as it rests on my leg, showing me full support and I feel myself freeze under her touch. Uhm...what is this? I look at her and her eyes are bright and hopeful and the internal panic that I am clearly undergoing has no affect on her whatsoever.

"Em it's okay. It took me a while to find my spot with James even if we did go there pretty much every single day. I had to follow a routine he and I would do every morning just to realize something I always knew. So how about we do that?"

I felt weak. Like a small child, helpless, on their first day of school. I look at her bashfully and mumble out an 'okay'. Who is this person?! I was being shy and pathetic and really sad. Not in that 'I feel sorry for this person' kind of way, like a 'grow a pair' kind of way. I do not like it one bit but when it comes to this part of my life I feel like I need to be lead by the hand to do anything. Grace's holding out hers for me to grab, dare I take it?

I sigh, scratching my forehead and I taking my lip between my teeth, nodding in response because right now I can't speak. I'm feeling...I don't know. There I go again, not knowing a damn thing. All I know is that I want my best friends to make sense of this for me, because nothing makes sense. I want them back and I'm going on a search to find a piece of them, a piece of me that left when they did. I exhale like I'm about to take a giant leap into something I'm not ready for. Maybe I am, maybe I need to, McKenzie would tell me to go for it. George would tell me that annoying acronym 'yolo'.

"Yolo Em, yolo." He'd say it exactly like that. His voice rings in my head. I hated when he said that because he should still be here. He didn't realize how true that statement was...is. As exasperated as it is.

I'm not entirely sure how much time has passed since I got in the car and I don't think Grace is keeping track. Her hand is still on my leg and she's still looking at me supportively. I'm growing to really appreciate the way she looks at me. She's the only one that doesn't look at me the way that I feel. Like I'm broken. She looks at me like there's still hope, like there is still life in me.

I turn my car on and Grace pulls her hand away and sits back into the chair. I look at her briefly and put the car in drive.

"Where's our first stop?"

"School." I say, choosing to follow the routine I started without realizing. I started a regular school day with my friends, first at the coffee shop and now we're off to class.

"Cool." Is all Grace says as she lets her arm dangle out of the window that she just rolled down. "Onward." I snort out a laugh and she joins in freely.

It only takes about twenty minutes before I'm in front of my high school. I park the car in front and sit in my seat.

"Do you want to go inside?"

I look at the building hoping that would help with my decision. I haven't stepped foot in those halls since before the accident. I didn't even go to graduation. I didn't see the point. If I couldn't reach a milestone with the people I grew up with then it wasn't worth it. Two months left in school but I couldn't take it, so I left school early, got my GED in the mail and off to the army I went. I exhale deeply and shake my head no.