The Alpha's Forgotten Mistake

Chap 19 - Home Truths

Recap:

As I crossed the threshold of the front door,  I heard the broken cry of my mum and my heart broke a little as the sound tore through me, but as Alpha, that was one sacrifice I had to make for the good of my pack, and I would not regret it, no matter how badly I wish things had ended differently.

Stepping off the front porch, I released an almighty howl before taking off into the forest, heading straight for home.

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Where do you go from something like this?

As my paws pounded the earth, I just couldn't wrap my head around everything that had happened.......

Where do I go from here?

What do I do now?

Did I really just leave my mum?

what. do. I. do. now!?

SO MANY FREAKIN' QUESTIONS!!

Face planting the dirt that was, only moments ago, under my feet, snapped me back to reality pretty quickly.

I lay there, just, eating dirt as my mind continued to swirl around me. My breathing increased as my emotions swirld:

- Helplessness

- Anger

- Hurt

I wanted to scream and cry, I wanted to beat the living snot out of someone or something, but I also just wanted to curl up into a ball, release the tidal wave of tears that were just waiting at the edge of my eyes and give up.

I don't know how long I stayed like that; seconds, minutes, hours.

I didn't really care either, what the hell was I supposed to do?

At that thought, I felt it; I was supposed to take those feelings and use them. As a reminder each and every time in the future when I feel at a loss of what to do, because life only sucks when you let it.You can chose to let the shitty parts swallow you whole, or you can use those emotions and fight through until you can see, that even after everything that has happened,  there are still so many good things waiting for you at the other end.

Geez my wolf is smart. Or maybe it's, I'm smart..... urgh, this being one thing is still all so confusing!

pulling myself up onto shaking paws, I glace back at the way we came. I can feel it, him. I can feel his wolf calling to me, but I have to leave that call unanswered, I can't go back now, my pack needs me, I have to go home and prepare for whatever the future will bring, I did just threaten a huge pack after all.

***********

As I stepped through the clearing, the concern from my pack was overwhelming.  I had felt it miles out, but now that we're infront of the pack house, it's almost suffocating.

I changed back and grabbed a shirt and shorts from the cupboard at the back door, before heading in side to put my pack members at ease. This was not going to be an easy task; there will be lots of questions, most of which, I'm not going to be able to answer and I don't like not having the answers before talking to my people.

***

To say they were shocked, would be a major understatement.

Shock, disbelief,confusion, hurt, anger... they all still permeated the air, two hours later.

I honestly don't think that it will be gone anytime soon, I can't blame them; I don't blame them. Everything that has happened tonight, all that they have been told, it's all a couple of home truths that we all could have lived without knowing...Now we just have to deal with it and move on, do what we need to do and learn from what we now know. The question is,  what is the moral of this story?

***

It's been three days since I layed eyes on my dad for the first time.

Three days since I branded my mum as the traitor that she is.

Three days and I still have no idea how to cope with the sh!t-storm of emotions brewing inside of me.

The only thing that I have managed to figure out is, what I'm going to do if I don't hear from Alpha Jones, telling me that The Rising Valley pack is now safe and back under his control.

The rest.... well the rest, I have no idea what I need to do to cope and I don't like that one bit, which is only adding to my emotional problem.

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Okay my lovely followers,

First I would like to say "Welcome!" to all my newbies! 

Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments and your unbelievable patients with me and this story.

I know it has taken me for ever to get this chap posted and for that, I am truely sorry.  I hate making you guys wait so long and I completely understand that some of you are p!ssed at me for it (althought that is no excuse for rude comments/messages)

I'm having a little trouble with writers block at the moment and have been trying for AGES to make this chap longer, so please bear with me whilst I try to work through it. My life has been unbelievably hectic for months now and I am TRYING.

For those of you who wished me luck with my wedding; thank you all so much for your lovely comments! xx

I had a surprising amount of hiccups right from the day I started organizing!

To name a few:

The craft store ordered the wtong material for all the dresses TWICE only two wks from the wedding.

The family friend who was to make my cake pulled out only TWO weeks before the wedding!

The cars we booked for the wedding fell through!

I had to sew my matron of honour in to her dress because the zip broke and hour before the wedding!

And the one that stressed me the most was, we almost couldn't get to the church because of I.D!

The place we were having the wedding needed I.D to be shown (for reasons I'm not going into) and because we were meant to have a friend there to vouch for us as we arrived and for some reason he wasn't,  so if it wasn't for my matron of honour, they weren't going to let my bridesmaids through!

LMAO

But, you know what?

It was the PERFECT wedding!  :-)

Alright,

Thanks again for everything guys, much love and peace out xx

- Manda