Drugged Hearts

e i g h t » adriana

     When I was walking out of high school's double doors, trying as hard to dodge Chelsea and anyone I may have encountered on my way due to exhaustion, a guy who seemed like the type to trip on his own feet stopped me. He had a goofy smile on, and just as I was wracking my mind, trying to remember where I have seen such a clumsy person, I remembered Jaelon - Tryston's friend or chauffeur or whoever. I smiled politely, my glance dropping to the book in his hand.

     "Tryston told me to give it to you," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck as he shoved it at me, just inches away from my chest. I recognized the aliens and monsters on the cover directly, and though I wanted to send it back and tell him that aliens aren't my type, I couldn't help the warmth that overwhelmed my heart as my gaze was glued onto the hard cover. I looked up, watching as Jaelon looked at me weirdly.

     I chuckled nervously, taking the book from his grip and placing it on top of the books perched on my forearm. "I'll thank him over the phone. Thanks for getting it."

     ++++

     It's really boring in the neighborhood I was living in; we were the only family to move in. It was mostly elderly and single adults - one or two I know being widowed - and the only noise that might bother you is the scream coming from Mr. Brown some time between 6 and 7 p.m. Mr. Brown loves chess and has a table under his house placed on the sidewalk where he would ask any passerby to join him. He was a bit competitive, and I recall winning the two times I was called over. I was never called back again.

     It's really boring in the house I grew up in; Walter was doing paper work and it must've been the time for my mom to take her pills, so she must've been asleep. Though, there was a possibility it was a bit too early and she was hovering over some cooking book, looking for the next night's dinner.

     I slapped my laptop's screen shut, wincing once I realized I might’ve smashed it. I didn't dare check, though; it was a terrifying scene to witness. I placed my probably-broken laptop next to the empty plate - that was once filled with some rib eye steak and mashed potatoes - on the ground. As I did so, I lay down on the comforter of my bed, my arms lying limply by my sides as I stared at the dangling light bulb. Walter was supposed to fix that, but it was never that big of an issue that I had to remind him about, so I let it pass.

     What angered me to the point of fuming with the whole Tryston-and-I situation was that once upon a time, I vowed to fall in love with a guy with high manners and A's for grades. Once upon a time, I vowed that my first love will be one that will be my last. Once upon a time, I vowed not to enforce the saying "love is blind".

     Once upon a time, I vowed to never break my parents' word, thinking they knew what was best for me.

     But just like the theory of 'forever' states that it lacks existence, the theory of 'never' states that it remains a variable for the time being. And I was proven that when my walls came crashing down just as our fingers intertwined; just as the swirls of wine behind his eyes turned me drunk, stumbling and losing my balance every time they met mine. And I liked it.

     I loved it.

     And maybe, it was because I loved him.

     Wait, I loved him?

     But no; it can't be. If I did love him and gave him my heart, he'd notice my injured lungs and throw it away, letting everything I've built up crash down on my shoulders. Or even worst; he'd take me as a pity card. The last thing I needed was for his feelings towards me to turn obligatory, not wanting to break my insides more than they were already broken.