burning g.d

9

the moment i open the doors to my new school, all eyes are on me. groups of girls stare me up and down, lips forming into frowns. boys smirk and make comments to their buddies, most likely about my body. a certain boy gains the courage to approach me.

"hey, i'm ryan."

he was tall, blonde hair swept up with a shit ton of gel and a cocky smirk plastered on his face.

"sol." i continue walking forward.

"what's the hurry, cutie? class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes. i think that's enough time to get to know each other in the bathroom stall." he grinned, whispering the last part in my ear.

"sorry, just not in the mood for guys like you."

"what do you mean 'guys like me'?" he scoffed, speeding up to match my pace.

"i mean guys who take the 'you are what you eat' phrase too seriously. you may eat dick but you don't need to act like one too."

"if the phrase is true, then it looks like the new girl is a lesbian."

"you know, i'm not into pussy but i'd rather fuck a million girls than come anywhere near you." i smile sarcastically and brush past him, making my way down the hall.

today is just not my fucking day.

actually, this month is just not my fucking month.

•

"okay sol, you can sit wherever you'd like. i'm sorry that you're here for such an intense lesson but today rainn is visiting our class as a guest speaker. they'll be talking about rape and sexual assault."

ouch. touchy subject.

"if at any time you need to leave the room, you may. no questions asked." my new teacher smiles at me, she's surprisingly young. hair up in a ponytail and a the color purple tshirt stretched across her body.

"noted. thanks." i nod before sitting in a random chair beside a girl with a purpose tour long sleeve on.

"ooh, nice shirt." i smile as she compliments my shoes at the exact same time.

"thanks! you like justin bieber?"

"love him. i actually went to his tour back in 2016."

"ugh same, so fucking amazing."

"i'm sol, by the way." i smile.

"kaylie."

•

"if you've been raped. it will be hard, but telling someone will make the entire situation easier. getting help is crucial to the healing process."

my heart beats at a million miles an hour.

"i know what it's like. i, myself, am a rape survivor. you feel like you're constantly dirty. you can't come near a boy for weeks without flashbacks. you feel like no one will understand."

fuck this.

i stand up from my chair and the speaker hesitates.

"we are more than a victim. we are still the people we were before, and we will stay the same resilient souls after."

i sit back down, ignoring the various sets of eyes trained on me.

"it's okay to feel. it's okay to be afraid, but you can't let that hold you back. if you need to contact someone, call this number. or reach out to someone you trust." she turns around and uses an expo marker to write a set of characters on the board.

1.800.656.HOPE (a/n: if you need help as a survivor of sexual assault/rape, this is an actual hotline. so please call. or visit rainn.org to chat with a professional confidentially.)

"we want you to heal, so i'm begging you. it will be confidential and completely open. just get the help you need." her eyes meet mine, as if she can read my mind. i flick my gaze away to stare at my desk.

"reach out."