What Should Have Been

{13}

They were at the Ministry with a quick burst of flames, people bustling around them as quickly as imaginable. Were they really going to do something so rash? It was completely bonkers in her head that the idea had even managed to come through Severus' mind. Hermione wasn't sure that bonding to Severus would solve anything, but the way he spoke of it put her under his spell. In ways he was very correct in assuming that she wouldn't live with him permanently were they not married in some way, shape or form. It was necessary to allow them time alone and time to hopefully talk as if they were discussing their life... not business. She knew she'd been a calculating witch when she had approached Severus. That was simply who she was, and Hermione wouldn't apologize, but maybe she was seeing reason in his views.

Was it necessary to calculate his every move and have everything spelled out before even being spoken? Their was wondering in her brilliant mind that started to seed doubt. She loved him, that was true, but there were certain things that weren't tolerable.

"You work here," he muttered, leaning into her ear with a husky fashion, "What floor is Magical Affairs on?"

"Four," Hermione managed, though it wasn't as coherently as she'd hoped it to be.

Eyes could be felt the whole way up, her heart hammering in her chest with horribly nervous and sweaty palms. People were staring, it was obvious that everyone was confused by their being in the ministry together. A few witches and wizards even had something to say about it! The nerve!

As they approached the area for magical bonding, Hermione felt the doubt again dig deeper roots into her brain. Was this the right thing? What if she didn't love him and she discovered that later in their bond?

Her mind chided her as it grew doubt, though, even her conscience knew that she was in love with the imperious wizard standing at her side like a shadow. She was doubting how well his plan would work, couldn't they talk more? Was there no conversation to be had that could solve this then they could get blissfully married without worry from any outside harms.

He wasn't giving her a choice to back out, however, he looked at her with a black gaze and motioned to the open door that he was holding. Rushing through, Hermione felt Severus' hand press into the small of her back and more eyes link onto their joined forms.

"I've brought these," Severus muttered, slipping two rings that were black and silver out from his ruffled robes.

They were intricately carved with their magic embedded into the precious metal. She could feel their presence as the warmth seeped into her hands, the magic going further than the comforting heat.

"Okay." It was all she could manage in that moment as she watched him approach the desk and nearly demand an officiate complete the union.

"They'll be with us in a moment."

Severus sat down, and in watching his fluid movements, Hermione's mind led her through a path that she had realized, but not investigated.

Severus had always been someone with waterfall-like movements, who constantly worked and professed with all the fluidity of the wind. Nature carved him from its own image with its hands, contouring every limb into someone who had more grace than half the women at Hogwarts. His words rivaled his body, everything he said the epitome of specific and dignified diction. Hermione remembered the way he scorned her and all of her peers for years with a precise choice of insults that no other teacher could have scraped up.

Then her mind fully came to her enlightenment.

Moving the rings in her hand that would soon represent their eternal bond, Hermione looked at Severus and swallowed hard.

Did he realize her mistake as much as his own? Obviously, if he was upset with her enough to demand they bond in order to solve their problems.

She cleared her throat, his faraway look turning to grace her doe-brown eyes.

"Severus."

"Yes?" His voice had a timbre to it, as if his thoughts touched hers and entwined their fingers, sharing something meaningful, no doubt.

"I... I wanted to apologize."

He raised that damned, black, and imperious eyebrow at her with something akin to wonder with every sarcastic tone he could emit. Severus never failed to impress her with his emotions, the conveying of everything on his visage only when he wanted it there.

Seeing, however, no response to her offered apology, Hermione continued, "We've been doing this all wrong."

"We have."

The agreement startled her.

What startled her more was the fact that he leaned forward in his chair across from hers and took her hands, looking at her with something raw.

"Do you realize now?" He wondered at her, tenderly gazing at her.

How many times did he plan on changing his eyes and the emotions he conveyed within them?

"You have not been you; such a calculating witch. Hermione, love, I am in no way sentimental, yet I was tenderizing under your hand as you bestowed upon me affections I hadn't ever had. I spent hours in my lab when you decided you were hung to spend hours invested heavily in your career. I shall support your endeavor by all means, yet, you weren't the only one experiencing neglect. You ceased affections, and therefor I did as well."

Hermione fell, "But I got my promotion and the work went down! I had time again: you still ignored me."

"Habit," he said in dismissal.

Hermione entwined her fingers with his and genuinely thought hard on all that he'd said, even if it was sparse, the git knew what he was doing.

They were both wrong... and they were both correct.

Pulling him over to her chair, Hermione leaned against him and shut her eyes for the inevitably long wait so a ministry official could attend to their bonding. At that point, Hermione just wanted it over, for they'd been through a hellish week. She loved Severus, their problems were talked over, and she had much to think about, but she knew this was what she needed. And most certainly there would be no memory lapses this time around.

A/N

(this is super crappy, i know)

I PROMISE WHAT I AM WRITING NEXT IS WAAAAAAY BETTER THAN THIS.

Now that I have gotten my horrid grammar out of the way, I would like to thank those who are reading this kinda iffy fanfic. Also, if you haven't read Professor yet, I suggest you do so.

And please accept my late update, I have been really stressed lately!!! College and whatnot, finals for my last few classes of senior year, and yeah.

Lots of love.

Also: For my next Snamione, do you guys want Harry with Draco or Ginny? I'm more partial to Draco because of the plot-line, but I'll let you lot have a say!

(Next chapter is the last one!)