18 ~ Sour as a Pickle

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A/N: I'm only online long enough to post this, I'm having horrid Internet issues, so please be patient with me! Dedicated to Phixiedust because she made me two beautiful covers <3

Chapter 18: Sour as a Pickle

She was small and warm and she smelt like a sweet perfume.

I could feel her surprise in the way she stiffened upon first feeling my hug. I was surprised too.

Why did I do that again?

I didn't know. I mean, Lottie had told me things I never thought she would ever tell me. She was a deeper person than I'd originally thought. She could feel and be hurt, she didn't just smile for the hell of it.

When I looked at her as she told me that she missed her mum, I realised that I'd never seen a more lost or lonely person in my life. Including myself. That was what drove me to initiate that hug. That expression on her face goddamn near cracked my front. I couldn't stand it any more.

Lottie held onto my shirt as though it was her anchor, her hands clenching the fabric between the fists. Her chin was resting firmly on my shoulder, the back of her head pressed against my neck and her cold-tipped nose nestling itself into the exposed skin of my upper back.

She felt fragile in my arms, but not the way a porcelain doll feels...more like a teddy bear. I could feel the subtle tremors of her body despite the lack of tears leaking from her eyes, and the fact that something was upsetting her was doing weird things to my head.

"My mum," she said, her tone of voice low, as though she was thinking hard. "My mum liked my smile a lot. She said it made her feel happy whenever she was upset, and I didn't like it when she was sad, so I began to smile all the time."

My arms tightened around her and she let out a protesting squeak. The funny sound softened my hard expression, and I loosened my arms so that I wasn't suffocating her. "I'm sorry," I said gruffly.

Lottie pulled back and furrowed her eyebrows at me. "Why are you sorry?" she asked, puzzled.

I could understand her a little better now. Before, I was a horrid bastard, assuming that nothing went on inside that head of hers apart from her cheesy smile. "I judged you wrong," I told her. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "I get it. A smile can sometimes turn a person's day around, and that's why you always have one on."

Lottie smiled, and she tapped my nose. "Bingo," she said.

Ah fuck. She was an absolutely wonderful human being. I mean, what kind of person would willingly do something like that and actually mean it? 

"Ben, I really have to get to class, but I'll come find you later, okay?" she said.

"Okay," I forced out. My hands clenched into fists at my side and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself down.

How did she get to be so beautiful?

It wasn't her looks; it really wasn't. It was in her Beauty with a capital B. It was her friendliness, her kindness, that pleasant aura that always hung around her. She was a person you could spill your secrets to and she wouldn't judge you one whit. She could smile at you and it would be like all your problems were gone.

"Bye-bye, Benny," she said cheerfully, grabbing her bag and ruffling my hair. And then she was gone, running out of the library on her way to her class.

I brought my hand up to my head and was about to fix my no doubt unruly hair, but then I decided to leave it the way it was. 

I'd become a complete and utter pansy. I didn't fix my hair because the touchy part of my subconscious demanded that since Lottie had touched it, my hair was suddenly sacred.

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