I Miss You [Sequel to Sweetest Devotion]

s e v e n t e e n

Adeles POV

There she is. 

My baby girl.

Her lifeless cold body in my arms. My heart shatters seeing her like this. I've been waiting to see her so long but never did I think this was how it was going to end.

I just want to hear her cry.

See her memorizing eyes.

I want her eyes to open, just once.

That's all I'm asking.

I want to see her smile and hear her laugh. Watch her grow up with her twin brother. Watch her stumble and fall as Simon and I are always there to catch her.

I want to hear her say her first word and watch her leave my embrace, running off to school. I want to watch her grow up and look up to her older sisters.

I want to be there for her first day of school.

I want to be there for her first love and her first heartbreak.

I want to be there when she falls, to clean up her wound, whether it's in her heart or just a little scratch.

When she needs someone to talk to when no one listens or cares.

I want to be not just a hand when she falls, but a hug when she cries.

I want to be there when she needs a listener, a teacher, a friend, a comforter, a mum.

"She's beautiful," Simon gasps kissing his daughters head, while she lays in my arms. It feels so different holding a baby that is actually here with us, then one that is in a better place.

I can't feel her breath or her heartbeat. Her eyes are closed shut and her mouth closed. I lean down and gently kiss her cheek.

"Mumma loves you, Amber," I pause watching the teardrop from my eye land right on the tip of her nose. Then slowly slides off and soaks into her cold skin, "You're in a better place, aren't you. Can you see us?"

Amber?" I pause again waiting for her to answer even though I know she won't, "look down on us okay? We really need your guidance."

I give her one last look, one last thought about the daughter I could have raised. I plant one last kiss on her head and hug her close to my chest before handing her over to Simon.

Simon gently takes her from my arms and sits down next to me on the bed. He brushes the little peachy hair she had, from her face and plants a single kiss on her head. 

"You look like a little ladybug," Simon lightly chuckles whipping the tears trickling down his cheek. "A beautiful little ladybug," He smiles studying her every feature to remember everything when she's gone and we can't ever see her again.

Just the thought kills me, just knowing I carried this little baby girl for nine months, and here she is, out in the world and she doesn't even get to experience life.

At least we have her brother to remind us a little piece of her. But it's still never gonna be the same.

Never.