Going Through Changes

Prologue

Raped and abandoned at 20. That's what happened to me four years ago, my name is Layla Kaitlyn Brooks and I was now 24. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday night and it was raining outside. I was on my way back to my apartment from the store. My boyfriend, Jerry Diego, was coming over for a quiet night in.

I made sure I had all his favorite snacks and drinks. I got us all our favorite movies and brought a few pillows and blankets to the front for us. I loved Jerry and this was the best, when we got to spend time together.

Jerry and I have been together for about 9months now and I just kept falling in love with him everytime I see him. He's been such an amazing boyfriend and didn't pressure me at all when it came to being intimate. I was saving myself for when I was completely ready.

My face lit up and I nearly skipped to the door when there was a knock. I ran to the door and yanked it open to be met with those gorgeous green eyes that I was totally in love with.

"Hey babe." Jerry said with a lopsided grin. I smiled with a litte frown. He was acting odd and smelt weird.

"Are you ok?" I asked him, letting him in. He pulled me to him once I closed the door. He crashed his lips to mine and when I tried to push him off, he grabbed my hands and moved them behind my back.

"I missed you so much." He said against my lips and I smiled. My smile soon faded when his one hand started to roam my body.

"Jerry." I said with panic rising in me. He ignored me and went about kissing my neck and pushed his hand under my shirt. I tried to squirm away but that only provoked him. He ended up slapping my so hard across the face that I had a hand print on it for a week after.

He forced himself on me and, against my will, took my virginity from me. Once he was finished with me, he simply laughed at me as I whimpered in the corner, curled up and left. I didn't move from that spot for quite some time. I remember Mitch, my best friend, was the one who found me. Naked and scarred for life.

After that, I decided to move from England to LA. My dad lived in LA and he was more than happy when I told him I'm moving to LA. I was so grateful when Mitch said he's moving too. My dad had a job for both of us in LA. He had his own law firm and Mitch just so happened to be in law school. I just ended up being my dads PA.

I was in LA for a month when something bothered me. I was late for my period and I've been getting sick constantly. Mitch went with me to the doctors to get blood tests done. Turns out I was pregnant. We soon found out it was twins and Mitch tried to convince me to get rid of them, saying it will only make me hate them, because I was raped. But these were my babies and I loved them, eventhough their dad hurt me like that.

I later had two boys. They were identical twins. Riley Alexander and Roan Benjamin. The only thing that told them apart was the small blond patch that Riley had in his brown hair. They were my everything but it did hurt looking at them from time to time. They had the same green eyes that he had and they looked so much like him.

My dad absolutely adored them and they loved him just as much. Mitch, that kind of didn't want anything to do with them in the beginning, loved them like his own too.

In the beginning it was really difficult for me to come to terms with it all. I got so depressed and was in a really bad place. I used to cut and it got so bad that I never went out in the public becasue I was covered in scars. But that was till the day started to really listen to Eminem.

I mean I've always been a huge fan of his, but in times like that, I used to plug my earphones in and blast my music. His voice was soothign to me and made me always feel better. While I was still pregnant I started to write him letters. I don't even know if he ever got them, but just knowing I wrote them made me feel better.