9:12
Marie and I, we just had a very long talk. Now more than ever, I see what a really damaged individual she is. I felt guilty for lahing out at her, being critical towards her, picking at her. But now I feel that it's a response to her trying to control me. Even though she only verbalizes 5% of her feelings, I now every time she disapproves of something I did, everytime I've done something wrong. I read her body language like a book. Now I understand why she is so upset and angry and nervous all the time; she feels out of control. Just like me. So my response to her attempts to take to take control involve me restricting my food intake and lashing out at her. From what we discussed tonight, we can't live together. I never imagined that this side of her could have possibly existed before I started living here. More importantly, now I have an idea of where these recent panic attacks have been steming from. Idk how to feel just now, it's like a hammer has swung down upon the delicate vase that is my understanding of relationship. I would have never guessed in a billion years that I would have to resent the one person I've ever felt this sort of connection with. I thought I really knew her, but I had no idea... until I started living with her. Confused is an understatement. I could go on, but I won't. Goodnight
YOU ARE READING
My Best Friend's Diary
Non-FictionA few days ago, my friend Jake gave me his diary to read. It completely changed me. I got over my ex-boyfriend that I had been longing for, for almost 5 months. And it showed me that I'm not alone in life. I hope you get to read this too, and it c...
