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JUSTIN DIDN'T WANT to wake her up. Cassie managed to curl up into a ball, and lay her head on his lap on the ride home while she was sleeping. Her classes plus the practice must have tired her out easily, not to mention she still had six other tapes, front and back to listen to. While she slept, Justin parked her car by the curb in front of her house.
When Cassie did wake up, she raised her head up and made eye contact with the steering wheel. She turned her head the other direction to find his eyes staring down at her calmly. She swung her legs to in front of the seat, and sat up, creating distance between him and herself.
"I didn't want to wake you. I know you needed the sleep," he admitted thoughtfully.
"I didn't get much last night if I'm being honest," Cassie said looking through the windshield.
Justin began to grab his backpack and exit the car for the walk home, but to his surprise, Cassie grabbed his wrist pulling him back onto the seat.
"You shouldn't have to walk all this way, it's getting dark. I know we're both beat up after today," she acknowledged, and bit her lip as she hesitated to say her next words, "will you stay with me?"
Justin wasn't overly enthusiastic, or pumping his fist in the air as if it were a victory. He was relieved, because she wasn't like most girls who would keep complete distance away from him, especially after he broke her heart. He was relieved she still wanted to find shelter in his arms. He was relieved, because she still thought of him and wanted to keep him safe from the streets he was forced to walk on most days. Most of all though, still cared for him with whatever pieces of her heart she had left.
When Cassie woke up, she was alone. Sprawled across the bed, she glanced around the room. She realized she hadn't been in the right mindset yesterday. She had let Justin Foley to sleep in her bed when her heart was still broken in two. She didn't want to take him back when she knew there was a good chance he might misuse her heart again. Besides, she had nothing much to even give back.
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[ 'Losing a good friend is never easy, especially when you don't understand why you lost them in the first place. Like I said...it's complicated' ].
CASSIE BECAME UNFOCUSED as the doors to the high school were suddenly in front of her. She had just finished Jessica Davis' tape. It was hard not to look at her differently. Just like Cassie had done, she didn't give Hannah a chance to explain herself. Cassie clearly remembered the list, because Zach Dempsey had scrawly handwritten her name under best face. Not wanting to make a fuss, she only gave him a small smile as a thank you.
That list hadn't only affected Hannah Baker though. After it got out, Cassie was frequently asked out, and her social media DMS blew up every night complimenting her face, not to mention people weren't very PG-14. Some might say she was lucky to get asked out at all, but it was almost as if she were put onto display, the pressure to keep her face the best and only the best.
She closed up her backpack after putting the Walkman and her pair of earbuds in the inside pocket. With a sigh, she began walking to her locker to find someone had already beat her to it. However, he wasn't alone. A bouquet of roses hid his face, and when she stopped in front of him he lowered them to show a gleaming smile of delight upon her arrival.
"Cas, I bet you want to make out with me right about now," Justin smirked, and Cassie took the heavy bouquet from him and looked at them in surprise.
"How did you have time for this?" She asked him, smelling the roses.
"Downtown floral shop," he answered being quiet proud of himself.
As girls from her team walked past the pair they burst into a fit of in awe whispers and giggles. Cassie sent them a small wave and a grin to be friendly, and turned back to Justin.
"This is very sweet of you, but I—"
"Cas, I need you, okay? I love you."
"I don't know if I can trust you again, Justin," Cassie confessed and in heartbreak all over again gave him the flowers back.
Leaving him there in confusion, she clutched her books to her chest as she carried on to homeroom. Unfortunately seeing Jessica pass her in the hallway made her think of her tape, and Cassie thought about confronting her until she realized Jessica was next in receiving the tapes which means she didn't know how Cassie would know about the dispute that went down between Hannah and Jessica. Cassie entered her homeroom class, took a seat, and began making conversation with one of the girls on her team as she pushed the tapes to the back of her mind.
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AFTER SCHOOL, SHE found the same bouquet of roses she gave back to Justin sitting on her porch, a small notecard beside it.
'I know you gave them back, but red roses mean love, and I love you so much, Cas. If you don't take these back you're throwing my love away. with love, justin'
Cassie felt guilty, but she knew it should be the other way around and after these flowers she also knew he had to feel some kinda of guilt and remorse. Especially after that night at Eisenhower Park, the night that a boy and a girl both walked away with broken hearts; the boy because of what he had done and the girl because of her capability to easily trust.
When she got inside the small house, the flowers went into a vase filled halfway with water. She set them on the quaint table in her living room and stared at it for five minutes. After approving it, she pulled out the Walkman out of her bag and switched out the tapes.
"Tape three, side A, here goes nothing," Cassie mumbled to herself.
