Dear Diary, it's Marilyn

Chapter 32

I know I haven't updated in a long, long time. Sorry about that!

Chapter 32

            White, white, more white… Was it possible to choose a color worse than white for a waiting room? It made the whole place feel like a mental hospital. Then again, maybe that's why Dr. Greenson chose these colors; for all I knew, he could have worked in a mental facility before starting his own business.

            There wasn't a receptionist in sight; how would Dr. Greenson even know I was here waiting for him?

            I studied the floor as I waited. It too was white carpet without a trace of dirt in sight, except of course what I had trekked in from the street. I couldn't even keep a white blouse clean this clean for an hour. Perhaps the cleaner had come this morning…

            Maybe this wasn't right for me. Therapy hadn't even been my idea; Jean was to blame for this. She thought something was wrong with me! I was only here at Ralph Greenson's office to save our friendship. But sitting in a completely white room for fifteen minutes made me feel like I was trapped in purgatory, and if that's not traumatic I don't what is.

            As I was standing up to leave, the door with the sign that read "Please Wait Here" swung open and a man with an unattractive mustache stepped into the room. He smoothed his dress pants and smiled at me, his eyes crinkling.

            "Miss Monroe, I presume?" I nodded curtly. "Please come in."

            I followed him into a box-like office, this time with blue walls. Dr. Greenson motioned for me to take a seat on a couch with floral print. He sat across from me and placed a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose.

            "I apologize for the wait." Oh Lord, I internally rolled my eyes, here come the excuses. This is already off to a bad start. I'm going to kill Jean for making me- "I had to prepare myself to meet the glamorous Marilyn Monroe." Dr. Greenson chuckled.

            "Oh," I blinked a few times. "I-I'm not really sure what to say to that. Thank you?"

            Dr. Greenson laughed, his mustache quivering. "You're welcome. Now would you like some tea or water or shall we begin?"

            "We can begin."

            He nodded. "Excellent. So, Marilyn, if I may call you that?" I shrugged. "can you tell me why you're here?"

            "Well, I have this friend…wait, this is all completely confidential, right?" I suddenly panicked. How could I trust this man, this stranger?

            "Of course. By law, everything you say to me in this room, unless you reveal something that could potentially harm someone, will be kept strictly between the two of us. I won't breathe a word of it to anyone. I understand how important this is to you as a celebrity."

            I contemplated his words. Many people before me had trusted Dr. Greenson. He was a well-known, professional therapist with the potential to help me. Sure, I would be telling him secrets concerning my marriages, my affair, my sex life, and my closest friends, but that would be a huge weight off my shoulders.

            "Thank you for your understanding." I took a deep breath. "I have this friend…"

            With just a few minutes left of our session, I decided to ask Dr. Greenson the dreaded question.

            "Do you think there's something wrong with me, like Jean says?" I asked haltingly.

            He frowned. "Of course not. You've just had a hard past and you're trying to cope with it. I don't know how good Jean is for you; don't you think a good friend would try to help you through rough patches?"

            I thought about it. Jean hadn't been very supportive of me. Couldn't she at least have tried to understand why I had the affair? I had good reasons for it and Dr. Greenson, a man I had never met before this day, had listened and understood. He seemed to be almost a better friend than Jean!

            "You're absolutely right. I'll have to talk to her about that."

            Dr. Greenson took off his glasses, wiping them off with a handkerchief and putting them in his pocket. "Good for you. Would you like to schedule another session?"

            "When is the soonest I can come back?"

            He flipped through a booklet that had been lying on the side-table. "Tomorrow at four, if you like." I nodded and he penciled me in. "It's been a pleasure talking to you, Marilyn. I look forward to our next session. Perhaps we should cover your childhood in greater depth."

            We said our goodbyes and I left, feeling much more carefree than I had before the session. Dr. Greenson was like…a friend you could tell all your secrets to and you could still trust them not to gossip about you behind your back. And he gave good advice. I wouldn't see Milton again; obviously he wasn't a good influence on me. I'd have to talk to Jean about being a little more open-minded too.

            Maybe it would be a good idea to have an appointment with my therapist a few times a week. That way I wouldn't lose any more sleep over secrets. Of course, are they really secrets if you tell someone?

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I'm trying to update all my stories this week, and by all I mean my two unfinished ones.

It would be great if you could vote and comment. Normally I wait for 30 votes on each chapter before updating but it took so long on the last one and it's still only at 27, oh well.

Game of Thrones tonight...Any other fans out there? :D