Well...Not Anymore.

Well...Not Anymore: Chapter 22

Hello to all of my super awesome readers! Sorry for the wait for this chapter and it's somewhat pathetic length, but school work and somewhat of a social life has been taking its toll on me.  I'm not used to actually having things to do!  Anyways...this story is about to start dwindling down to the end, just so that all of you are aware.  But never fear! I have yet another story in the works that I'll probably be posting soon :)

So anywho...I hope you like this chapter and will leave me some awesome feedback by voting and commenting.  I'll love you forever if you do!

Chelsea x

OoOoO

Where are you? :) 

Hey 

It's lunch time Nay...that means you go to the cafeteria.  

We were supposed to eat lunch together, right? Or did I just dream that convo? 

Nay? 

Are you ok? 

I'm sitting on the toilet as I read these. The fucking toilet. Ever since Drew practically unleashed all of my worries right back at me, I haven't been able to grab a firm hold of my mind. It's been running rampant ever since. 

Do I just swallow all of my worries and stay with Lucas, or do I act upon those worries, tell him that I can't be with him, all the while breaking my heart in the process? I honestly cannot decide. I love being with him I truly do. All of the kisses, all of the caresses, the sweet words...they make me happier than anything ever has.  

But although this is true, the uncertainty of his feelings toward me makes my mind an absolute clouded mess. Does he truly love me like he says he does? I used to think so...but that was because I was so happy that he actually had romantic feelings for me that I forgot to think straight. Now I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't like me as much as he claims and is going to get over me just like he got over Destiny. 

He does have such a knack for ditching people. 

Is he going to do it to me again? 

And if he does, will I be able to handle it? 

Not at all, a little voice in my head says, and I know it to be true. It hurt so badly the first time; so, so bad. And that was when we were just friends. It's going to be so much worse if he does it after we've gotten together in the way that we've always wanted. I'm in love with him, I know that much. And he claims that he loves me too.  

What if he suddenly decides that he doesn't love me? 

I don't know if I'll ever be able to think about the answer to that question. 

Bending forward, I rest my elbows on my knees and then gather my head into my hands. This is getting to be too much. I just want to get away from everything; not have to talk to anyone, to just be by myself without any distractions, any gorgeous blonde guys who claim that they love me when they truly don't.  

I just want to leave so that I can think without my phone buzzing every few minutes with a text message from said blonde boy. 

I run my fingers through my hair and sigh, praying that the tears that have been threatening to fall all day don't. That'd be so embarrassing if people saw. My first day back and I can't even contain myself.  

This is getting to be seriously ridiculous.  

oOoOo 

"Zara?" I call out the moment that I get to the book store, my bags heavy as they hang from my shoulders. I ditched school. For the first time in my entire life, I didn't go to the office to get a check out slip before I left. No. Instead I just wiped my eyes, removed myself from that grody bathroom stall I'd been occupying forever, and just walked out the side exit.