Harry Potter Discovers Starkid

Act 1 Part 12

RON

Oh my God...oh my God I can't believe it!

"You know what?" Hermione said. "I don't even want to see the rst of this thing. Nothing can top the last song" she said happily.

HARRY

What?

RON

I can't believe she's dancing with every guy except me. That is so so stupid! [Takes a drink of Butterbeer]

"But Ron is gettting drunk!" Ginny said. "Thats always fun"

HARRY

Why do you even care?

RON

I don't! I don't care! I don't care and that's what I'm gonna tell her! I'm gonna go and say: I don't care what you do! And she is gonna feel so damn stupid! She is gonna feel like such an idiot!

"He sounds like a jerk," Harry said.

HARRY

Listen Ron, you're being a real jerk. Maybe you should take it easy on the Butterbeer. [Reaches for bottle]

"And fake self agrees with me!" Harry said, smiling.

RON

[Pulls away] NO! No!

"I am being a jerk," Ron agreed.

HERMIONE

Hey guys!

HARRY

Hey Hermione! You look great, you look wonderful!

HERMIONE

Thanks! Yeah, you know, I used to think looks weren't important and now I think they're more important than anything! You know I'm having so much fun dancing with everyone and-

RON

Wow Hermione, when did you become so shallow, when?

"Yeah, this isn't fun. It's just mean," Ginny said, nodding.

HERMIONE

What's wrong with you Ron?

RON

Nothing! Why don't you go ask Shlongbottom to dance? Go do that!

"I knew I should have left before he did something jerk like," Hermione said sadly, shaking her head. Ron scowled.

HERMIONE

Maybe I will! [Storms away]

RON

Showed her. I showed her so good! [Drinks more Butterbeer]

"What did you show her? How to be a jerk?" Harry asked.

HARRY

Wait a second! Wait a hot second! I know whats going on here! [Looks over to see Hermoine and Neville twerking] You've got a crush! [Ron nods and starts to cry] Alright, heres a little advice. Call me crazy, but girls don't really like it when you're angry with them. Or shout at them. So maybe you should go over there and tell her how you feel. Maybe you can ask her dance.

"You should have done that at the real Yule Ball," Hermione said to Harry, Ron nodding.

RON