Depressed• phan

4%

It happened 3 years ago. I can't really tell what sparked my decision into it. You don't just wake up one day and decide; Hey! I want to be mute! It was kind of like that metaphor with the camel. You know; the last straw that broke the camels back. That's what it was like. I had a boyfriend. He was great. I loved him so much, in fact he was the only person I've ever loved. He got me in every single way. It was like he was telepathic, and was always reading my mind. His kisses tasted of sweet chocolate. His hair was the color of warm sand. When I ran my hands through it, it reminded me of feathers. His eyes were the color of freshly cut grass. I loved him, but he didn't love me. Then like I've already mentioned, my mother died. That was the worst thing ever. That Literally broke me. I remember I was crying for 3 months. I couldn't do anything without it reminding me of her.
"You need to leave the house. She's gone!" I looked up with tears stinging my eyes. Anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. How dare he. "Why would you care! She was your own daughter and you never cared about her!"
It made me so angry how careless he is. "Yeah? Well your her own son! And she never cared about your faggot ass!" Ouch that hurt. Was that true? She did sign the DNR papers. Was she disappointed in me?
My dad leaving didn't really affect me that much, as he left when I was three. I still wish I had a dad, but my mum never got to marrying, or dating. I also fell into a hole of depression. To skip the details I now have scars. Then adding to my depression, I don't eat. I have bulimia. So yeah, all those 'straws' 'broke my back'. I refused to talk. I had to find one way of communicating though, so I learned sign launguage. It's been 3 years so I'm fluent. But, no one understands me. People don't ask me ," hey can you speak?". But I understand. It's okay.