Chapter One
Surprises I Get On Valentine's DayGreat. I can't wait for what my boyfriend has prepared for me.
I dreaded this day would ever come. Four years ago, our first Valentine's date was a disaster and I thought that maybe he was only anxious since it was our first Valentine's Day together. He got me a bouquet of roses and a beach trip. I thought we were going to an actual beach when we ended up at his backyard with a children's sandbox in the middle and an inflatable swimming pool. Three years ago, he gave me the same bouquet of red roses and we watched a movie together while eating dinner. It could've sounded an amazing date if we weren't watching Alone in the Dark. It is loosely based on a series of video games. This film was panned by critics from Entertainment Weekly, Variety, The Village Voice and various Internet movie sites for a multitude of reasons, including poor script and production values, overuse of slow-motion and quick cuts to optimize the gory content, almost no connection to the game, and bad acting. One review said the movie was "so poorly built, so horribly acted and so sloppily stitched together that it's not even at the straight-to-DVD level." The movie has received a 1% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, and was included in their Top 100 worst reviewed movies of the last 10 years. A critic named Rob Vaux states that this movie is so bad that "the other practitioners of cinematic drivel can rest a little easier now; they can walk in the daylight with their heads held high, a smile on their lips and a song in their hearts. It's okay, they'll tell themselves. I didn't make Alone in the Dark." Screenwriter Blair Erickson wrote about his experience dealing with Boll and his original script, which was closer to the actual game itself, and Boll's script change demands on the comedy website Something Awful. It appeared on Metacritic's list of the all-time lowest-scoring films, and is on the MRQE's 50 Worst Movies list. It also received two 2005 Golden Raspberry Awards nominations for Worst Director whose name was Uwe Boll and Worst Actress named Tara Reid, and won three 2005 Stinkers Awards, for Worst Picture, Worst Director, and Worst Special Effects. In 2009, Peter Hartlaub, the San Francisco Chronicle's pop culture critic, named it the worst film of the decade. You're curious on how I knew all about this? Well, I looked it up on the Internet to find any possible reason why Matt loves this movie and found all this. Now, two years ago, he gave me another bouquet of red roses and went to meet his grandparents who read me a story entitled "Bessie the Cow". Last year, he gave me the same bouquet of red roses and guess what? I was asked to help him clean his bathroom and he said it was fun because we're doing it together.
Oh yipee.
Now, I wonder what he's got in store for me this time.
I picked out a white sleeveless top worn underneath a striped black-and-white cashmere and skinny jeans plus the ever-popular Converse sneakers. I headed out our apartment door and rode the subway to our said meeting place.
Minutes later, I arrive at the Central Park and found him sitting on one of the park benches with his arms hanging casually on the backrest and watching people pass by. Beside him was a bouquet of roses.
As usual.
I walked towards him until he spotted me within twenty five meters. His face brightened up and handed me the bouquet.
"Thanks," I smiled appreciatively.
"Let's head to my house," Matt said.
"Okay." I forced a smile.
We rode the subway back to my station and walked at a distance to his place.
"I want to do something fun today," he said as he headed towards the couch and pulled something out of the shelves beside their flat screen. A moment later, he flashed something up which I thought was a DVD until he said, "Assassin's Creed."
Oh, no, he won't.
Oh God, please have mercy, don't let him do this to m--okay. Too late now. He has set up the game console and has given me a remote control. For Pete's sake! I don't even know how to play this!
Wait a minute.
Of course! What could be more romantic than letting him teach me how to control the remote? He'll wrap his arms around me and guide my hands through the controls.
Genius, Ava. True genius.
"Babe, I don't know how to use this," I slightly pouted.
He paused the game then looked at me. "Okay, then you just watch me play, alright?" He smiled. He unpaused the game. He killed someone which looked like a knight and said, "This one's for you, baby." I wasn't even sure whether he was talking to me or to the screen.
So far, he has broken his own world-record for being the worst Valentine's date ever. Period.
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