Love Letters

Love Letters (Part 10)

By the time I went downstairs Cass was home and Fudge was sat in the dining room eating an apple.

‘Well if it isn’t Muhammad Ali,’ Fudge said, winking at me as I walked into the room.

‘Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, who else would it be, if not Muhammad Ali?’

Cass rolled her eyes. ‘So superman, how was Jack’s lecture?’

I shook my head at her and said, ‘You don’t even want to know. Speaking of whom, where is he?’

‘Bah, he took Alex out and told us we weren’t allowed to give you any money for two weeks, I suggested three but he ignored me,’ Fudge said, smiling mischievously.

I shrugged, ‘I’ll get a job.’

‘Not anytime soon, you won’t,’ Cass interjected.

‘Hey listen, how hard did you hit him? Did you break anything?’ Fudge asked rather sadistically.

‘I think I got him in the face a couple of times, and then Mack got a good kick in, but that’s about it.’

‘Fudge! Don’t encourage him, he broke the law today, if he had actually done any real damage he could’ve gone down for grievous bodily harm and completely ruined his future.’ Cass said in an accusatory tone and walked out of the room.

Fudge and I rolled our eyes at each other and she whispered, ‘I don’t know about where you and the rest of them stand, but you and I are good. Well done kiddo, you saved some serious butt today.’

I grinned and went to watch TV in the other room, at some point I’d fallen asleep and I woke up the next morning with a crick in my neck and a sock missing.

I dragged myself in to a sitting position when Jack came in, ‘Rise and shine princess! I need you to go to the Post Office for me,’ he said, ripping the curtains open. The light bled into the room and I covered my eyes and gave a small yelp.  I was going to ask him to make Cass go but then I remembered that I could send off J’s letter too. Kill two birds with one stone as they say. I spent the next half an hour penning my letter and then left on my bike to carry out Jack’s job and went into college slightly late for my first lesson.

                                                                          (J)

I woke up in the morning feeling sick and nauseous, what a wonderful start to the weekend. I stayed in bed until around noon after which I dragged myself downstairs for a bowl of soup. My nose was blocked and my hair looked crazy. My parents had left for work without checking in on me first, which was no real surprise. I passed the front door and noticed the stack of mail lying on the doormat. I picked it up and flicked through the pile; bills, flyers, leaflets, more bills and there it was; another letter from T.

I shoved all the other letters into the magazine rack and crawled up to my bedroom with my soup. I muted the TV and opened the envelope relieved that I had something else to do other than wallow in self-pity.

Dear J

No one’s ever used the word ‘unique’ to describe me, you’re the very first. Remarkable how our whole lives we attempt to blend in and become part of the ‘in crowd’ and yet being known as original or unique is a compliment.

I’m glad to read that you’ve heard from your friend, I hope he’s okay. I’m disappointed that we’ve had to give up our search for him though, I guess I’m more double-o-seven than I thought.

Your parents don’t realise that they’re prioritising the wrong things in life, at some point they’ll realise and by then it’ll be too late. I don’t believe we’re ever alone, even when we don’t have anyone around us, there’s always someone in our thoughts. So J, whenever you’re alone, don’t think of yourself as lonely, there’s someone thinking of you.

Procrastination isn’t really a problem; the real problem lies in why you’re procrastinating. Most of the time it’s because you’re delaying a task you don’t find enjoyable; so in your case, revision. Reward yourself every time you revise, a little bit of classical conditioning would go down well. Associate revision with something pleasant and that way you condition yourself to think differently about revision and so it’s not so much of a monotonous task. I think that It’s great that you’re motivated to do well; because when you believe you can do well, you can convince everyone else that you’re capable of it too.

Though I don’t think your solution to loneliness lies in finding a job, what you really need is company. A job won’t do that for you, I think you should speak to your parents about spending some more time with you. I’d provide company for you if I could, but there’s only so much companionship a few words on a piece of paper can provide. I hope my menial words suffice for now.

T