Love in a Cholo's Life Diary

Valentines Day!

A week before Valentines Day:

I have no idea on what to get Isaiah for Valentines Day.

Night Before V-day:

Tomorrow feels like a special day because it's the first time I actually have a boyfriend whose my Valentine.

I'm excited but I've been thinking a lot lately...this is also the first year that my best friend isn't my Valentine.

I called her 'Jay'  that was her nickname and I was the only one to ever call her that. I haven't talked to her in so many months.

I wasn't there for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, nor New Years...because honestly I don't know what to say to her.

So many words were left unsaid. She was my girl since like fourth grade and now, things are so different than they once were.

I changed, it was my fault. Everyday, all day, I'd have my hair tied up in a bun. ALWAYS. Never bothered to leave it down.

If I left it down, I looked even more chubby so I'd put it up. It gave me confidence having my hair like that and that gave me attitude so no bitch should bother me. But I was funny, I acted foolish at the right time and in the right place.

I ate in all my insecurities and showed the world that I didn't care if I looked chubby cuz of my chubby cheeks, I didn't care that I didn't do my make up right, I didn't care if I had my own style and not dress up like those stuck up bitches with their richass clothes. I didn't care when I passed by a guy and he wouldn't take a second look at me. I knew I wasn't beautiful, I knew that I wasn't a girl of anybody's dreams. I knew that I wasn't skinny and I eventually accepted all my flaws and even if I wasn't that 'perfect girl' I was a hard worker.

That whenever I made a mistake, I'd fix it. Whenever there was shit involving a person, I'd confront them. One other thing I learned about myself is that since I wasn't beautiful I didn't give a vibe of intimidation.
I gave a vibe representing that I was here, that'd I'd be here no matter what.
My girls knew they could tell me anything, they knew I wouldn't judge them. They knew I wouldn't just give them no shitty advice cuz when someone tells me something, I listen even if I don't wanna hear.

I knew who I was, I knew what I stood for. I knew I wasn't perfect, I knew all these aspects about myself, I have more than two handfuls of flaws...probably triple times more.

But there was one solid fact about myself. ONE for sure is that I had no fake personality.

I wouldn't say one damn thing, then commit another...I mean what I say, when I say what I mean.

I'm still here.

I will always be here.

(I mean it).

Underneath the ' improved me ' I'm here. Only wished Jay would know that.

I want her to know that I was never blinded by Isaiah. I just got caught up in so many things.

I'm still trying to figure this shit out. I just need help to do that.

Valentines Day!

I got to school late and missed my first class of the day because my sister had to go to work earlier than usual and then take me. 

I put what I got for Isaiah in a 'Lucky' store bag, I got him a heart-shaped box that had the football skin on the top. I knew he was gonna love that since it's his favorite sport.

And I also got him a baby elephant that people kept saying were cute and I wrote a letter too.  I'm happy with what I got for him.

Break Time

Right after my second class of the day, it was break time!  I was so excited to see Isaiah! Jale, Lesly, and Benni (she's a girl and I'll talk more in depth about her later through the story) walk me half way so they saw m excitement.

I meet Isaiah then we walked up to our corner and he gave me this cute little monkey and a huge box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box.

"Thanks baby it's so cute," I smile at him then kiss him while he starts putting his hands on my body.

"Turn around," he whispers with a serious face, but I slowly stroke his hardness through his jeans just making him desire more, "uyyy fuck mamma turn around, give me that ass."

I obey him as he pulls down my leggings starting to put his thing inside between my cheeks, I made sure to wash and shave everything and rubbed lotion on everything so even my softness of skin could drive him crazy.

"uhhhh fuck...fuck this feels good," he says while I grind and completely press my ass against him making him moan even more.

"damn uhhh fuckkk," he continues moaning then he tells me to spread my cheeks to get even deeper, "uhhh baby lemme put in your pussy," from the back while he's griping on my thighs.

"Bend down too mami," he keeps demanding and continues moaning his sexy moan, then he starts taking control and hitting my butt roughly as he went deeper and deeper.

Then he wants my pussy and puts me against the wall then he strokes his d right on my pussy trying to go deeper, I was breathing a little hard while he moaned, "uhhh that pussy is so tight...tight as fuck mmm."

He's going a mix between gentle and aggressive, he squeezed my ass then I lift my leg over his to bring him even closer but damn this felt so good.

Bell rings-Break is over

He walks me halfway to my biology class then we kiss and walk away.

For Lunch

We now sit on our bench, talk and play around while our classmates pass by all smiling at us.

I'm happy with him. Of course we've had ups and downs but that's just how relationships are.

We're already on our 8th month since June and I think that's really good, we've had sexual relations but at least we do it because of the way we feel for each other and not using each other for anything.