Love in a Cholo's Life Diary

Does this fool really love me?

All I'm doing is texting Isaiah, nothing serious but the way he's talking to me is just.....idk how to explain it.

People that are extremely close to me are telling me that he's not a good guy. So why am I still talkin' to him?

He's caused nothing but problems, even my sister Mariella knows that I've been talking to him. She doesn't trust me anymore because she's even told me to stay away.

My friend Reyna even told me that his ex was the chola(girl version of a hispanic gangster). But honestly Isaiah talks shit about her sometimes.

Supposedly they split up because they did some stuff and she said that Isaiah got her preg but that wasn't the case. He said that he only rubbed it around that area but he never put it in. Then I asked him where they did that and he said at her house.

That hurt me because I live hella far from my school. I live on the Westside but my school is on the nice part of the Eastside.

The schools here aren't any good so my sister wants me to stay at my school. Its over populated though, up to 3,300 students but its in a real nice area. Its just the students that ruin it.

His ex lived close to school, and it sucks cuz she was allowed to have him over. And I know that I'll never be allowed to have him over.

My sister disapproves of him so there's no way she's gonna let me invite him here.

Me and Isaiah won't even be alone here cuz my grandma is always in the living room. Its just sometimes I really do wish that my life was normal with parents but no.

Isaiah isn't that much of a bad dude though, I mean yeah he crazy and nasty. But when he's not, he just seems like a chill person that actually cares.

We even had a convo about who we live with and our home life. He lives with his dad, mom, 2 sisters, and one of their babydaddys.

He even told me that his mom got preg at 13 with his oldest sister, and at 15 she got preg again with his 2nd oldest sis, but at 20 his mom had him. And his pops is the daddy of all three of em'.

Then he asked me if we could be that young..... -_-

I said "nonono mijito" but he just took that as a joke. After that he's been saying that he wants to be my babydaddy and shit. But once he told me that if I ever gor preg my him then to have an abortion. And I was honestly upset.

I told him that I don't plan on havin sex anytime soon but he doesn't take me seriously. He keeps sayin' that it'll feel sooo good but idk. What if I really do get pregnant cuz of that but all he tells me is to be on the pill.

But anyway, I can't really explain why I'm still dealing with him. I guess part of me still believes we could go back to the way we were.

I feel like he really does care though. Like when I told him about my parents, he said all these sweet things and made me feel like I didn't need anyone else but him.

I didn't want his pity and he didn't even give it to me but he gave me his sympathy.

We've shared a lot of information between us and I just don't want to let him go. And those are the parts of him that convince me he's not like those cholo fools but that came to an end when he told me that he was hangin' out with "varrio sur trece"(a gang of scraps from the Southside)................