Complicated

Chapter 13

 I gasp for air as I take in the scene. At this second, she hugs him, and I feel as if there is a pair of humongous hands choking me. I hold back the tears, find my happy place, and keep my thoughts in. He told me he'd tell me everything. He promised. 

At that moment, my heart stops. He's smiling, she's happy. They look like a happy couple. Pain hits my chest, no, my heart, and it burns. It's burning away every memory of happiness with Tom into ashes. I slowly walk towards them, trying so hard to stifle my sobs. I just can't help but cry over this.

Instead of going to them, I run away, into the girls' restroom, into a cubicle, and pour the bucketload of tears I've been holding back. The pain I'm feeling at the moment is indescribable. It's as if I'm a werewolf and I've just been hit by a thousand silver bullets. I've tried my very best to be the best friend he's ever had. But it didn't work out in the end. I guess the odds were never in my favor after all.

Tears are dripping out of my eyes nonstop, and a few minutes later, my phone starts to vibrate. It was Tom. He was calling. I don't know what to say. Should I even answer it?

"H-Hello?" I answer as I stifle some more of my sobs. "Hey Ave. Where are you? I've been waiting for you." he says with a concerned tone.  I am forced to lie. "I just ran a book down at the library. You know, for..... English." I tell him, trying my best to console myself. "Okay? Hurry up, I've got something to show you. " he says with an exciting tone. 'Oh, I know what that thing is. And it's tearing me apart you douchebag." I think, not meaning to actually tell that to him. But I want to. He's apparently a wrecking ball. "O-Okay." I said. He was about to hang up, but then a sob escaped my throat. "Ave? Are you okay? Why are you crying?" he asks in a concerned voice. I used to adore that voice, but now, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard. "No, no. I'm alright." I say, but then I just can't stop sobbing. This is too idiotic. "Where are you?" he asks. "No, you don't have to go here. She needs you more." I say in a cracked voice. "You saw Kalia already?" he says, surprised. "Yeah." I confess. "I don't care, just tell me were you are, and if you don't, I'm going to find you even if I have to flip the whole school upside down." he tells me. "No, don't go and find me." I say. "Ave... Just let me help you." he tells me. And from there , I hang up.

I continue to thoroughly wet the pages of my books.  My cries and sobs are getting louder and louder by the minute. And because of that Tom finds me, and actually didn't care if he just entered a girls' restroom. "Ave?" I hear his voice and his footsteps. I attempt to console myself to stop me from crying more, but the pain just continues to swallow me whole. "Ave, where are you?" he asks. My sobs lead him to me. He flings open the cubicle door, and hugs me. "You don't even care if this is a girls' restroom?" I ask between cries. "Nothing shall keep me from maintaining our friendship strong."  he says. 'Oh, how ironic' I think. Yet the word 'nothing' may refer to Kalia Norekiss, his girlfriend. I choke at the word, and I sob more. "Why's your English great grandmother so important anyway?" he asks. "We used to have.... tea parties. She was the only one who could make me happy effortlessly." I lie to him. I become amazed of myself since I come up with a lie so quickly. I guess that this is one of the perks of being hurt. You'll lie and lie because you don't want them to know what the real reason is. And in my case, it's Kalia and Tom. "Condolence. I'm really sorry for your grandmother. I'll visit you later, if you want." he offers, but I don't think I want him to visit a death free family of liars. "No, no. That wouldn't be necessary. I think some free ice cream would do." I say with a smile as I  wipe of my tears with the sleeve of my coat. He stands up and offers me his hand, and  I take it. I satnd up and walk down the halls. 

"Where's Kalia?" I ask. "Oh, she went home. She knows I have plans with the best friend in the whole universe." he tells. "Oh really now?" I say with a smile. I am in awe of how he makes me happy in just a crack of a smile. And I hate it. It reminds me of how things will never be between us. He already has Kalia. We walk to the ice cream parlor, and we sit on a table near the window. "Okay, what do you want?" he asks. "I want.... Chocolate mint. With M&Ms, gummy bears, maltesers, and chocolate kisses and syrup on top." I say with a huge grin. "No, seriously." he asks, annoyed. "Okay, okay. I want the usual. Salted caramel." I tell him. "Better." he answers. He walks to the counter, and  as I wait, I become aware of reality, and that Tom and I shall never be. I frown again, forcing myself to smile. I seriously thought that everything was in my hands, and that I'll prevent every moment for Tom to be mine. But I never thought of the chances that he loved Kalia Norekiss. She was not thought of. He never told me of her, anyways. I suddenly notice how he broke our promise, the promise of telling everything to your bestfriend. But then I broke that rule as well. I didn't tell him I love him. but technically, I did, on that cold New Year's Eve.

  He returns, and my urge to ask him of Kalia grows bigger and bigger at the moment. "You still depressed?" he asks with a concerned face. "No, I'm alright." I lie, again. "You sure?" he asks again. This is getting a little irritating. "Yep. And I think that I'm not the one who needs to be talked about. I think e need to talk about how you didn't tell me about Kalia." I finally tell him, and the weight on my back goes away. "I'm sorry. I wanted to surprise you with the fact that I'm not a forever alone anymore." he tells me. "Tom, with the number of admirers you have, there is certainly no way for you to be single forever. Me? I'm prolly gonna be a cat lady." I say to him. He laughs, and I join along. But these moments can never change the fact that he has a girlfriend, and that I'm currently depressed about it. I'm apparently living in the moment of him telling Kalia that he loves her. "I can't even fathom that." he answers. "You don't have enough imagination, Faulkner." I tell him. "I do, but my mind is just filled with her voice, her eyes, her face, her voice.... her whole self." he tells me, and my heart breaks more. "You're in love." I say, even if saying those words shall make me even more depressed. I hold back the tears, and console myself inside. "How can you tell?"he asks. "Your eyes sparkle when you hear her name, you always think about her, and she's your--" I stop myself choke at the word, making myself accept the ugly truth. "...girlfriend. And Tom, I'm your bestfriend. I can interpret your every move." I say to him with a smile. I always wonder why a single smile can hide so much pain. He smiles again, the sparkle in his eyes obvious from his red cheeks. 

And an unexpected person with her bloodshot eyes pass the ice cream parlor. Her brown hair tangled up, and the pain obvious on her face. Jenny. I guess I'm not the only person suffering from Tom's surprising decision. She runs off, with tears in her eyes. And it's not Kalia who's making her suffer, but it's my actions. She doesn't know. But I want her to know. To console her pain, to share the pain. I've never even talked to her, but, hey, it's worth trying.

I swallow the last chunk of ice cream from my bowl, and I stand up. "Sorry, Tom, but I just remembered that I had some errands to take care of. Bye!" I tell him, and I run off before he has the chance to even say one syllable of a word. I run off to the direction Jenny went, and sure enough, I found her. She stands out from the crowd with her blue beanie, and I quickly catch up to her. 

"Jenny." I say, and she stares at me with her bloodshot eyes. "YOU. YOU STOLE HIM FROM ME." she tells me, and I quickly block her slap. "Jenny, I'm sorry. I didn't steal Tom away from you. We were never a couple. I was just friendzoned." I confess o her, and every inch of her lights up. "REALLY?!" she asks enthusiastically. "Yeah. But.... there's some more bad news." I tell her. "He has a girlfriend now. Kalia. Kalia Norekiss." I tell her. "What?" she says, her voice cracking. "Yes. And I know how painful this is to you, and it's painful to me too." I tell her. "What? Why?" she asks curiously. "I love Tom as you love him. And let me tell you, I know that it's not easy to handle this kind of pain and heartbreak, but I promise you, everything will be alright." I assure her. "Why are you telling me this?" she asks. "Because I think that you don't deserve this pain even if all you did was love. Love isn't meant to hurt you. It mends you." I tell her, hoping that what I'm telling her will bring a spark of hope in her. "Thank you. This.... It really means a lot. My friends haven't been talking to me since i became obsessed of him. " she tells me. "I think we're gonna relate to each other a lot." I say, with an encouraging smile. I'm in the same case with her, anyways. I don't have any other friend other than Tom. All the girls hate me, anyway. "Friends?" she offers. "Indeed." I tell her. We continue to walk down the road, telling each other stories of our obsession with Tom. 

And I become aware of the fact that we're walking down the road of depression, together. I guess it does help to have a friend with you that'll cry, laugh, and giggle with you. You'll walk the road of depression with them, until you find the yellow brick road again, and you're back on track. And someday, I just know that I'll get over him, but it's going to take a long, long time before I do. And yes, I'm still depressed. This day shall scar me forever. And though I didn't even find success in my plan, there's still plan B.

Mission Failed.

Execute Plan B: Move On