One More Spoon of Cough Syrup [Zayn Malik FanFiction]

Chapter 4

"I know I'm lost, but I'm waiting to be found."- 'This Ain't a Love Song' by Scouting For Girls.

Zayn's POV

My first one-on-one experience with Saniya taught me one thing and one thing only. Say nothing to her when she's in a bad mood. Simply nod and say yes. Do this and you won't die. The way in which Saniya immedietly flared up; like she was a bomb, slowly detonating and I had caused it disturbance. This definetly threw me off - before I was curious and I wanted to know what was up, but now (although I'd never admit this to anyone) she definitelyscared me.

I went back to the kitchen and all five heads snapped up to meet my eyes; the boys curious and Lana looking hopeful. I hated the fact that I'd let her down. "I think that," I said, slowly, not making eye contact, "she needs space. And she's not ready to talk. And now I'm going for a walk."

I didn't want to see Lana's reaction, so I made sure I showed my honest apologetic emotion before leaving.

The area in which Lana lived was deserted, only a few adults here and there. No one took advantage of the hot July weather, which was a plus, since that meant I would be able to go around without having to talk to anyone.

My hi tops crushed the bits of gravel on the pavement and I found that my mind was clouded by one and only one thought. What was Saniya so worked up about? Do you ever get that time when you think of a past situation and possible alternate scenarios? Everything was going fine and then I started digging myself a hole and now I'm stuck there. I should've left when I had the chance, I should've just acted like I knew what I was doing. I hardly ever know what I'm doing anymore; ever since my aunt died ... Well, the boys are always there keeping me from losing my mind.

From all the thoughts and complications, I felt like I needed something to take my mind off of things.

And, although it wasn't good to admit it, I felt comforted by the thought of cigarettes.

Saniya's POV

I found it ironic that Lana had only wanted to help me and that her method had resulted in me being angry with both her and someone I didn't know. The boy was doing well before he started pushing me to talk and I could tell that I had pissed him off. Luckily, we'd never have to meet again. It may be hard since Lana was dating his bandmate, but I could make it work.

I knew that there was a tiny chance that the boy would understand, but I also knew that he most probably wouldn't. I wasn't only confused over my parent's death, I was angry at myself for not feeling how I should because they were gone. The boy seemed like a decent guy who would cry over losing his parents, so he wouldn't get it at all.

I changed into some fresh clothes; dark blue jeans, my combat boots and a black t-shirt. I went downstairs, ready to just take a walk for a few hours.

"What happened?" Lana asked, trying not to sound annoyed, but miserably failing.

I shrugged. "Why'd you tell him to talk to me?" I asked, bluntly." I don't know him - why would I talk to him about anything?"

"Talking to someone whose been in your position -"

"So you picked someone I didn't know!" I interupted. "You could've asked someone whose name I knew!" I sighed exasperatedly. "Lana, I get what you're doing. Just ... let me handle it, alright?"

She sighed.

"I'm going out for some air," I said, putting on a weak smile and nodding my head slightly.

I stepped out the door into the humidity; it always was the strangest feeling when the outside was hotter than the inside - something I'd never get used to. I decided to go to the park in the middle of the town, it was a long walk and the park was always a place where I'd sit and think ever since my parents moved into the hospital.