One More Spoon of Cough Syrup [Zayn Malik FanFiction]

Chapter 29

 "And when we meet which I'm sure we will, all that was there will be there still. I'll let it pass and hold my tongue and you will think that I've moved on." - 'White Flag' by Dido.

Saniya's POV

I mentally slapped myself trying to interrupt the thoughts from continuing to invade my head. Ever since the incident on the rooftop, everything seemed different now. You couldn't exactly call it awkward- in fact, it was almost the complete opposite; Zayn and I hadn't actually talked about it, but we both knew it was better not to leave us alone in a room otherwise an awkward  presence would linger. But now, his laugh was melodic and music to my ears, his eyes sparkled and his skin glowed. His eyes weren't brown or mocha or chocolate - they were indescribably beautiful. Beautiful- not handsome, or smoking or hot. I had cast my mind back to all the times we were together; we got along well, and Eleanor's hints at how good we'd go together...oh God.  I tried to convince myself that I was just in shock and the feelings arrived in the spur of the moment. I had mental arguments, punched my bedroom walls, rammed myself into my cupboard, but the feelings wouldn't go away.

Yeah, I had to face it- I think I liked him back.

No...I knew l liked him back. This wasn't meant to happen, this was wrong- very, very wrong. I wasn't even meant to be alone in a room with a boy if he wasn't family and now I had fallen for one who'd fallen for me!

But, hey, what can you do? Why had I even said that 'Will you be there for me, for when I'm ready?' I was such a moron for blurting that out; words couldn't describe what an idiot I felt I was. Did he even know what I meant? If he did, it definitely didn't show- but then why did he say 'yes'?

The weird thing is, is that I never would've guessed that Zayn and I would ever end up together. If I would- or, well, could- date someone, someone like Zayn wouldn't exactly be on my list. Yes, he was good-looking and had a sense of humor. Great. But I'd always pictured myself with someone more simple- in other words, not famous. Being with a star always seems to lead to complications- I mean, look at Peter Andre and Katy Price, or Katy Perry and Russell Brand.

But on the other hand, Zayn being imperfect was the best thing about him. He- wasn't - perfect. He had small flaws which I liked instead of one huge flaw. Small ones could be fixed if you wanted to fix them- larger ones not so much. In a sense, Zayn was perfect because he was imperfect...if that makes any sense...

I'd never been in love before, maybe this was what it felt like. Don't get me wrong, I believed in it- Lana and Niall were enough proof of that and now I had Louis and Eleanor as evidence too, but I'd never considered the thought fully before. Besides, every time it struck my mind, I denied that anyone would actually ask me out. Who would- I can kick the crap out of anyone and I don't get easily scared of horror movies. I'm not anything like a girl anyone would want.

I was lying still in bed, staring at the ceiling feeling suddenly depressed; I had gotten an email last night from the airline confirming my ticket. Unfortunately, I couldn't change it to Economy class since the seats were all taken up, so I was stuck sucking money out of Zayn by staying in First Class. I still hadn't told the boys that I was leaving early, let alone that I had been planning this since yesterday; I hid it from Zayn yesterday on the rooftop, figuring that it would make things worse. I sighed and sat up, my hair falling around my shoulders and side fringe flopping on my left eye. I yawned, running my hand through my hair and feeling it fall back. It was now or never.

The tradition of getting up after everyone else still remained; I heard the talking and laughter ringing out from the kitchen, easily picking Zayn's velvet voice from the group. Velvet voice? God, what's happened to me? I splashed some cold water on my face to fully wake myself up and rested my hands on either side of the sink. "This is not happening," I muttered, with a tone of desperation. "You don't love him, you think you do. Just suck it up and let it go, you won't be seeing him again anyway. Fix up; think good thoughts. Sarcasm. COD. Harry Potter."