Lost but Found

This Isnt a Dream, is It?

Oh. My god.

This isn't happening.

This is all a dream.

Yeah! It has to be.

Soon I will wake up shivering and sweaty in my nice cozy bed back home because this is a nightmare. Right?

But it isn't is it.

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Pshh click. Push click. Pshh click. Pshh click.

This is all I could hear as I looked up to see the limp figure of my father lying on the hospital bed that stood before me. There were cold metal looking machines surrounding him all connected to him by what seemed like millions and millions of small, large and medium sized tubes and needles. I couldn't believe my eyes or in this case even ears. I saw the small thin lips of who I assumed was one of my dad's nurses talking to me and my mum. You know something. I have a new found hatred for nurses. Their too perky attitudes or even worse Sappho and "understanding" moods. They really don't give a care what is going on in your life because they only think, hey poor them there life isn't as peachy as mine with my nice fancy salary that I get just for pretending to show even a sliver of kindness! Well the only thing I have to say to that is, walk away from me and never ever come back.

I then saw movement out of the corner of my eye and shuddered with excitement as I realized it came from my dad.

"Oh, and by the way, Marcus (my dad) is having small seizures that make it look like he is opening his eyes and trying to wake up." The nurse said in a way that proved my point of them not giving a rats arse about anything.

Way to play with my feeling why don't you! Hey while your on a role just go ahead and crush my dreams while you're at it! Now won't that just make you feel peachy?!

"And you must be Abigail!" Miss. Rat Face (that is my new name for her, clever huh?) said in my direction. "Why don't I explain to you what is happening so you don't get confused. Okay dear? Okay!"

Dear god save me now!

"Well last night your daddy had a heart attack witch made him go into cardiac arrest. This means he died for a short period of time while we shocked his heart with electric impulses to revive him. He did however stay under for quite along time which we are assuming caused some serious brain damage and could prevent him from ever waking up again. This machine over hear controls the temperature of the packs that we have placed around his body that are cooling him down to try and stabilize his vitals." (Thank god I watch Grey's Anatomy because if I didn't, I wouldn't know what the heck this crazy lady was saying!)

Now I know what you may be thinking. How are you being so humorous and calm with all of this? The answer is that I am actually not... I'm dying inside! You see I am not a person who deals with anything very well, even the littlest things. So I show my hurt and frustration by trying to let other people think I'm okay so they don't have to worry about me. You could say that there is that little person inside of me that is literal screaming her head off trying to get anyone to help her while the exterior of me shoves everyone away afraid of what could happen if I opened up.

I sat with my dad for a while. My mum is talking to him. I feel sort of bad saying this,but I don't really think he can here us... Of coarse I would never say this to my mum for she seems a bit fragile at the moment, oh who am I kidding. She. No we are a mess. She sat beside him in tears while I sat on the hard floor with my legs pulled up against my chest. Tears fell from my eyes even though I had stopped sobbing ages ago. My bum started to hurt so I got up and walked over to my mum. I put I hand on her shoulder and gave her a small smile. She jumped up and whipped the water from her red and teary eyes. She quickly put on a strong act, but who was she kidding.