Sparks Fly

Chapter thirteen.

Hey loves!!

Yay for a quick upload!! Well I really hope you enjoy this chapter, there's alort of emotion and I worked really hard on it so I hope you like it!!

lots of love,

Kate x

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Niall did a spit-take upon hearing Harry's confession, while Zayn tried to hide the fact that he was choking on the surprised, sharp breath he took.

Harry placed his head in his hands, disgusted with himself and what he was doing to people by feeling like this. He never meant to fall in love with Eleanor, it just sort of... Happened. She really was exactly like Louis, but in girl form, and Harry supposed that this was one of the reasons he fancied her. He never meant for it to become anything more than an innocent crush, but seeing her so broken and wanting so badly to comfort her and hold her and promise that everything would be okay, because he was there and would never leave her, just made him feel all the more hurt. He never wanted to her to love him like this - it was a fake lust, driven by the influence of alcohol and emptiness. She never wanted him, and that night wasn't an exception. She didn't know what she was doing, letting the alcohol take control and her sanity waste away. She was repulsed by herself, and repulsed even more by the sight of Harry and the fact that he would lead her to do such a thing. Harry was repulsed at himself, too. He couldn't believe that he slept with her, no matter how good it felt in the moment, it left long term scars and damage to relationships that would take a huge amount of work to repair. He didn't mind working hard to fix these relationships, but he felt as though as soon as he would attempt it, they would crumble down in ruins. He didn't want this. He never wanted it to be this jar. He wanted to love, and be loved, not love and be despised by everyone who has ever meant something to him.

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Louis felt like crying again. He'd been too scared to admit that to himself, scared that as soon as he did he would want so much more, but would only be broken. He felt as though the fans, his best friends, his own mother even, would be disgusted in him. Imagine that, Mommy's star son is gay. A fag. Queer. The hurtful words rung around Louis' head and he began to feel disgusted with himself. I'm not gay though, he thought. He wasn't, it was true. He's always liked girls, would even admit to daydreaming about a certain Megan Fox, but there's just something different about Harry. The way he makes Louis feel so happy and loved, the reason behind Louis' smile. He was the reason Louis believed in himself, the one who would pick him off the ground when he was having a bad day. But he would never, ever feel for Louis the way Louis felt for him. And really, that's what scared Louis. Just knowing that 20 years down the track, possibly even 10, he could still be so caught up in the idea of loving Harry and Harry loving him, that the fact that Harry was happily married to a beautiful girl with children, even, would absolutely tear him apart. He would still look at Harry with so much affection and adoration, but Harry's eyes would always be full on the same looks for his wife. It hurt Louis, to think about the future. He didn't want the time to come where he'd be at Harry's wedding, but as nothing more than the best man.

He'd known for some time that he had unusual feelings for Harry, but it wasn't until 5 minutes ago that he actually admitted it, and not only to himself, but Zayn also. Remembering where he was, he snuck a sideways glance at Zayn. In all honesty, he was surprised Zayn lasted this long. He thought straight after he let his secret slip, that the Bradford lad would jump off the couch in disgust, cursing at him and spitting on him. He thought he might punch him, kick him out, threaten to kill him because liking another man is "unacceptable". He though he might tell him to "get the hell out of my house you dirty faggot, I will not have a raging homosexual in my house."