MAE DAY 2 - GUARDIANS (ON HOLD TILL FURTHER NOTICE)

Chapter 4

The next few days were a real mixture of emotions. I was happy one minute, sad the next and whilst they reassured me it was down to my hormones, I was scared that I had post natal depression.

God knows I'd been through the mill lately, not only with the loss of my sister and the birth of the twins but I'd loss a baby, married someone I didn't know and took on his child, whilst at the same time dying and being brought back to life. Not forgetting kidnapped by trolls, met demons, guardians, bears, witches and lions... plus I didn't even know what I was since my transformation.

My husband killed me for godsake and I bare the scars of that every day whilst he is punished. All the time I stupidly pine for him whilst the other more sensible part of my brain keeps telling me I am behaving like a battered wife, forgiving him, saying it's not his fault, he didn't mean it, lets stay together for the children... really I should be running for the hills. I wouldn't though. Something kept me here and it wasn't the children, it wasn't Lee or his family, it wasn't the transition... I think maybe it's the closest I'll get to my sister again so I stay and hold onto everything I see that reminds me of her. I even took a cardigan from her room because it smelt of her. I spent the rest of the day with my eyes closed, sniffing it and pretending the pillow I was hugging was her.

But the worse thing for me, was being banished by uncle... that hurts the most. I don't why but it just does. I dare not think of him because it breaks my heart. All I ever see is his disappointment in me and having to plead with him to be my daughters guardian would never have been necessary before, because he had loved me back then. I didn't feel that love now. I feel nothing from him. He didn't even look at her, ask to hold her or what her name was... or if was I ok after the birth?

"Oii tranny stop thinking dark thoughts or I'll eat you," Conrad said appearing in the doorway with his baby in his arms.

"Stop calling me a tranny."

"Well you are still transitioning and now the child is born you can continue to bloom into something truly wicked. We can eat people together..."

"No way."

"Ohhh come on, there is nothing like the taste of a rotten soul to..."

"No! And stop talking like that around the babies."

"What do you think he is going to eat once we wean him?" he asked jiggling the baby around and upsetting him.

I tutted and sighed.

"Spare a tit? I forgot to feed him and..."

"No he has teeth."

"Only tiny ones and he is ravenous."

"He stinks," I said as the putrid smell filled the room.

"Yeah I'll need a change of clothes and nappy too."

"Why don't you just go home?"

"I'm not taking him home in this state. My wife will beat the shit out of me."

"Try being a better father and she won't."

"I am being a better father. I remembered what realm I left him in. I found him and everything, didn't I," he said raising the baby in the air and kissing him on the cheek like a doting father.

"You mean he stank out the realm and whoever you left him with found you and returned him."

"Po-ta-toe, pot-a-toe," he shrugged holding him out to me as he gave him a none too gentle shake to make him cry at me.

"What is that god awful smell?" Lee's mother asked entering the room. "Conrad!" she all but yelled. "That child stinks to high heavens of several realms and...."