Story of Our Lives

Chapter Ten.

(Lily's POV)

I've been lying here for an hour staring at the ceiling again. I don't want to get up, I don't want to face today. My usual morning routine of misery... Oh Joy. Forcing myself to get up, I walk to the bathroom and wash the dried up tears off my face. I look up at the mirror and stare into my "yellow" eyes. I wonder what people see when they look into them? Do they know how much sorrow I feel every single day when they look at them? Do they know how much love I feel for people?

I don't think so. 

I walk into the kitchen to face my mother, I'm not in the mood to fight so I just ignore her completely. God, you'd think after the years of suffering in my own home I'd have killed myself by now, but the future as well as my friends have kept me going. I love them so much and they're all just perfect to me. 

Sandra, oh Sandra. That girl is just so unbelievably funny and sweet. She can get angry easily but it's only because she doesn't allow anyone to mess with her. Whenever I'm with her, we just laugh at everything. I just really enjoy spending time with her. Besides the fun times, she's there for me during the bad times. Whenever I'm feeling insecure, she's the first one I go to. I just know that she'll know exactly what to say and she'll make me feel better. I love her more than words could possibly describe. Sandra has the most adorable giggle in history and she cares about her friends. She has a deep understanding of people, but I wish she could understand herself. Sandra, as well as the rest of the girls, doesn't see life in the correct perspective. Her misery has confused her image of how life works and has caused her to find it extremely difficult to trust people.

Heaven is just so adorably sweet to everyone. The second I saw Heaven, I immediately knew exactly how depressed she is. She's hopeless and doesn't see a reason to continue living, but that depresses me and I'll explain why. People like Heaven DESERVE to live more than a lot of people. She has potential and has the best intentions you could possibly imagine. Heaven could go so far in life and make huge changes in the world if she allowed herself to be happy. Sometimes I wish I could just grab her and yell at her about how much it kills me to see her hurting herself. From all the people I've ever tried to help, she's the one I want to help most. At the end of the day, only she can help herself if she chooses to. The thing is, people love her for so many reasons but she refuses to believe in those reasons. I really hope, with all my heart, that she lives her life the way she's supposed to one day. Her destructive behavior is unfair to her.

Faith, oh God where do I even begin? She's so perfect and mature. I can really see her living a long and successful life. She has the mind of a writer, even the way she speaks is a representation of how she writes. She's extremely random and says the strangest things ever, but it's so adorably sweet that no one could ever have a problem with it. She thinks she's heartless, but she's the exact opposite of that. She has so many emotions running wild that she tries to convince herself that she's heartless to avoid feeling them. Faith has many irrational phobias from the strangest things, but if she tried to take chances in her life those would go away. Faith, too, is just as miserable as Sandra and Heaven. She has no confidence whatsoever and doubts herself more than anyone I've ever met. All Faith needs is that one leap of faith to change and become happy, but no one can get her to do that except herself. She needs control over her emotions and thoughts. 

Veronica is extremely mature and I always go to her whenever I'm looking for a solution to a problem. She's a great friend to ask for help from. Her sense of humor is different, and she's CONSTANTLY sarcastic with me but I love that about her! I've been best friends with her for a very long time now. She's extremely shy and doesn't like to socialize with strangers but once you're close to her she'll open up and talk to you. Veronica is the most insecure from the group, I've noticed. Also, she's the one that opens up least from the group so that's why the rest of the girls don't really know what goes on with her most of the time. I see the insecurity in her with everything she says and does. It's so obvious, I've never in my life seen Veronica confident about anything. She's such a beautiful girl so it's ridiculous to me to see her so insecure. She shouldn't be and I sincerely hope she isn't one day. I sincerely hope she's mature enough to turn her life around because I know she can do it. I believe in her.

Jules, on the other hand, isn't as miserable as the rest of the group. 

Jules can be a really caring and supportive friend, so no matter where Jules is in her life, she will always have friends. She has the world's largest imagination but it's enlightening to know people like that, they're interesting. Jules really does have good intentions and is very sweet. However, Jules can be very insecure too, which causes her "need" for a relationship because she feels it would fill the void that is actually just her insecurity. She doesn't need a guy in her life, she's perfect just the way she is. She's the overly protective one of the group, but that's just because she cares, that's all. 

All of the girls need to completely change the way they think, and I've repeatedly told them all this. One day, I hope they'll actually do it. I know more about them than they think I do, I can see right through them. I just don't always tell them what I think, but I'm always analyzing them and I know them perfectly. 

Well, that was my chapter. Hope you all enjoyed it! Keep reading!!

~ Lily.