Letting Go

chapter 1

Broken.

That's how Avi felt on the inside. 

He felt hurt, used, but mostly he felt broken. There was a constant pain inside his chest and it seemed like it was there to stay. Every day he woke up with it and every night he went to bed with it. 

It wasn't the physical type of pain that you would get after running too much or after a long workout at the gym, it was an emotional pain. A pain so strong that sometimes he wanted to just give up, give in. The only reason he hadn't given up was because of her. And the irony was that she was the reason Avi was still going, but the reason for his suffering too.

Even if she wasn't making him suffer intentionally, it still hurt like a bitch. 

Just when he thought life couldn't get any worse. It was bad enough that he was madly in love with his bandmate, his bandmate that was taken, but now he had just gotten the worst news of his life. 

"Jeremy and I are getting married!" 

The bass almost felt like collapsing to the floor. The little bit of strength he had left got knocked out when he heard those six words. He wanted to cry, he wanted to punch the wall, he wanted to scream, but he couldn't. Avi couldn't do any of that because the twinkle in Kirstie's eyes and the huge grin on her face stopped him. He was one of her best friends, he had to be happy for her. So he sucked it up and put a smile on his face...

He was awfully good at that.

Practice made perfect.

Kevin must've seen through his acting though, because he put a comforting arm around Avi and gave him a look that said everything. However, the rest of the band didn't notice. They were too busy hugging and congratulating Kirstie and Jeremy. He couldn't blame them, obviously. Scott and Mitch had spent their entire lives with Kirstie. Of course they would be happy for her. 

"Avi, aren't you happy for me?" Avi was pulled out of his thoughts when he realised Kirstie was standing right in front of him with a worried and slightly heartbroken look on her face.

"Of course I'm happy for you, Kirst! I'm sorry. I'm just really tired but I promise you that I'm jumping on the inside with delight. You two deserve nothing but happiness and love," Avi's heart broke more and more with each word coming out of his mouth. 

Her frown finally turned into a grin and she gave him a tight hug. "Thanks, Avi. That means the world to me. I love you," she said meaningfully. 

He sighed and hugged her back just as tightly, but he also knew that the way Kirstie said the word love to Avi, was not the same way she said it to Jeremy.

She pulled out of his grip and Avi then took a breath in sharply when he saw Jeremy kiss her passionately. He had seen it a thousand times before, and it hurt every time, but this time it was different. Jeremy would be doing this for the rest of his life, till the day he died.

And Avi couldn't help but wish that was him.

Really short, but I hope you like the beginning of this book! :)