Midnight Talks #Wattys2017

thirty-five

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CHAPTER 35| KYLE

HOW DO YOU TELL SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN feel them slipping away through your fingertips even though they're still physically there? That you know that you're going to lose them before it's even happened but there's nothing you can do to prevent it? That life was slowly dulling into this long repetitive pathetic routine. You go to work. They go to work. You come back, cook something. They text saying they're staying out late. You chuck everything out, maybe wait up for them. Then you both argue. One of you leaves, comes back and you both apologise but never do you say what's on your mind. Why would you? You're supposed to be supportive and be happy for the other person, so you don't and you drown your thoughts with a bottle and lyrical poetry. Then this cycle repeats itself

"Jace, another." I called chucking back the burning liquid, I had lost count how many shots were laid out in front of me, just hoping that this would dull the ache. Today it was my turn to walk out pissed off, but they're was no way I was stumbling home drunk. Then I'd surly say the things I was keeping back. Jace turned to me with a sullen expression, his dark hair was perfectly straight and styled as if if you chucked water on it it wouldn't move. It's still stay upright.

"Kyle, I think you've hit your limit." I rolled my eyes bullshit.

"No, I haven't. I could walk out of here fine if I wanted to, it hasn't even touched the sides, promise." I grinned now really wanting a drink.

"You can't even string together a coherent sentence, mate. I'll call Evelyn to take you home-" Panic shot through me, without thinking I grabbed his shirt knocking off a few of the glasses in front of me and pulled him towards me.

"You can't do that, Jace." I pleaded letting go of him before security threw me out. I sighed burying my head in my hands trying to push away the anger and regret that was bubbling up inside of me, all of these questions that formed that couldn't be answered. I chuckled internally to myself.

You're pathetic. You're upset over her attention.

Selfish too - don't forget that. Drowning yourself in a bottle because she's actually spending time with her brother that she hasn't seen in years.

And don't forget that message from Christa. Still haven't replied, have we? Waiting for the right moment?

My inner thoughts began to terrorise me, I had long given up fighting them, allowing them to throw their snide remarks, they were true anyway. Sighing I traced the rim of the whisky glass, the cubes of ice hadn't yet fully melted, slowly diluting what was left inside the glass. "Does she know her boyfriends a drunk?" An obnoxiously loud voice called from behind me. I sighed choosing to ignore him and continue to watch the ice melt. "Kyle." He spoke once again choosing to sit next to me, putting two finger up towards Jace who a few seconds later gave up his glare and gave Ezra two vodka shots.

"Ezra." He grinned a half smile slurping down the shot encouraging me to do the same.

"Come on, that'll put some hair on your chest." I hated vodka. The burn it created in my throat wasn't worth it in my opinion. "Now, come on. Let's take you home." He said forcefully picking me up out of the chair and dragging me. Ezra, funnily enough was slightly slimmer than me with a smaller build so his strength was needless to say impressive.

"No, fuck off." I groaned drunkenly trying to shove him away from me and awkwardly allowed my drink to fall upon someone's dress. I grinned down at the woman about to apologise before feeling her hand across my cheek. Did she just? "That was completely unnecessary, I was about to apologise!" I exclaimed holding my stinging cheek. It felt as if rocks were thrown in my direction and just so happened to unforgivingly land on my cheek.

Ezra let out an embarrassed laugh gripping my shoulder. "Sorry about him, he's plastered. Doesn't know which way is up right now." He grinned charmingly at them before mouthing 'bad break up'. The two girls nodded looking at each other before heading to the bathroom probably to dry themselves off.

"Can you let go of me? I'm not your personal handbag. Let. Go." I slurred again trying to shove him off, not that it worked. "Why are you here anyway?"

Ezra pushed me towards the door, his mouth pulled into a thin line. "Well when your sister calls at midnight distraught because her boyfriends walked out of an argument and still hadn't come back yet and she's worried not only about him but the status of their relationship, an older brother should be sensible and look for the fucker." He summarised trying to hail a taxi.

"Mate, this isn't the movies, black cabs don't stop for anyone. You kind of have to ring up a cab service." I grinned almost proud of my smart arsed come back. My heart sank "Walt, she's worried about me? I should-" He let out a cackle.

Like an actual cackle - not a laugh, no. That'd be too dramatic. I internally rolled my eyes debating whether it was the alcohol that was making my life seem more and more like a teen novel.

"What? Go home and say 'hey babe, although I'm not so secretly an alcoholic and smell like the bottom of a beer bottle, let's make up and not do anything irrational."

I sighed realising he was right, even if he sounded like a dickhead. "Look," He took a deep sigh. "I've told Lenny already that I'd come and find you and take you to a mates house to calm down-"

I furrowed my brows, "How did you even know where to find me?" 

"Slater." He stated plainly before practically yelling at me again to call Eve so she wouldn't worry anymore.

"Hello? Kyle? Is that you? Look I'm sorry about-" She rambled knowing her she was probably chewing on her lip and picking at something to calm her nerves. Looking at Ezra I took a couple of steps away from him so he was out of earshot. Not that I was embarrassed of the conversation but I wouldn't want my to hear my sisters conversation with her boyfriend if I had any siblings.

"Shh, baby no. Calm down," I hushed into the phone, my heart immediately tore at the sound of the distress in her voice that I had caused. I promised myself that I would never do these things to her. She slowly began to mean way too much to me and I didn't want to lose her at any moment and every stupid little argument that we had these past couple of weeks was taking a huge strain on our relationship. And I was more than determined to keep us together, and if that meant dragging my arse up and stop drinking (at least so heavily and frequently) then I would. I didn't want the influence of a bottle to ruin what we had. "You don't have to apologise to me, I flipped out and was being a complete dick to you. I'm sorry."

"Kyle, look-"

"No, please don't. I hate those sentences, it always ends in something bad." I felt myself plead, I raked my hands through my hair. "And I know I always apologise to you, and say I'll do better but Evelyn, I mean it. I'd do anything in my power to not lose you. So baby, please don't." It felt as if all the alcohol had drained from my system and I was suddenly sober again. Everything was beginning to feel too real, too much, too soon.

"Kyle-" She sighed.

You're losing her. My inner self skilfully taunted, I felt my chest ache.

"Eve, please. Can we just talk, at least face to face. Tomorrow when we are both fresh faced, not angry or hurt with each other and I'm not as Ezra says 'smelling like the inside of a beer bottle'. Please? I lo-" I cut myself off surprised at my words.

Did I just? No.

"Tomorrow." I stood paralysed looking at my phone in pandemonium. I looked over at Ezra who was currently leaning on a lamppost just as gobsmacked as I was.

*----*

ITS SHORTER, yes but the cliffhanger is sweeter. :3 haha. How are you all today?

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