Midnight Talks #Wattys2017

twenty-six

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CHAPTER 26| KYLE

"Is it love if they don't even know how to love themselves" - rupi kaur

I DON'T THINK IT WAS BEING DRUNK THAT I had missed, nor was it the feeling or the idea of being drunk. It was the blistering pain that lived in my head that I had the morning after. Awoken in a drunken haze and unaware feeling all of the pressure evaporate and almost become unimportant even if I knew reality was fast approaching. Not again Kyle. You can't afford to allow yourself to relapse again. Shafts of light fell through the cracks between the blinds, a silent hum of morning whispering in the room, barely illuminating everything. My body felt heavy and my skin ached, I opened my eyes seeing a tired looking Evelyn staring down at me, her fingers soothingly pushing through my hair absentmindedly almost as if she hadn't yet registered that I was awake. Her dark hair falling into her face she looked beautiful, my eyes fluttered shut feeling myself drift back off in her arms. "I know you're awake." Her hand dropped from my hair, her body began to shift. I sat up ignoring the drumming of the fast approaching migraine beneath my eyes.

My hands stretched out, grabbing her waist. "Please, no. Just a little longer, Eve?" I begged looking into her eyes. She reluctantly sighed nodding and giving her legs a small tap inviting me to rest my head again. "If I said anything out of line or did anything, I'm sorry Eve." I apologised after a moment of silent. Dismissively she nodded continually brushing her fingers through my hair.

"Why'd you do it?"

What? What'd I do? My eyes snapped to hers I felt confused and almost afraid of what I could've done under the influence. "Do what?" I asked carefully.

"Get drunk, why?"

I clenched my jaw sitting up my mind floating back to the 20 phone call from hell. "Don't worry about it."

She scoffed rolling her eyes and stood up, I followed suit. "You're a hypocrite. You say all this crap and feeling insane because you know nothing about me when you don't tell me anything about you. It's as if you expect me to just know."

"Who told you that?"

Please don't be me.

Please don't be me.

Please don't be me.

Please don't be-

"You did, last night Kyle. You're being so cryptic and my head can't take it anymore."

My blood ran cold. Fuck sake, Kyle. Way to fuck things up again. Her voice fell into a defeated whisper. Her grey eyes looked tired and distant, I frowned at her. "I'm sorry and I'm aware I keep apologising but I've never wanted to do anything to upset you, Eve. Look, if I could change some things about what I said to you and have done with you -especially last night I would and I'm apparently extremely honest with you when I'm drunk." I murmured with a half hearted chuckle. "Look, how about I make it up to you, yeah? Tonight just me and you, no interruptions just us, we can talk and just get to know each other properly?" I offered hoping she'd say yes. Her hair fell into her gave as she nodded timidly.

My face broke into a smile as I pulled her towards me and hugged her, her silvery eyes sparkled and she laughed freely. "That's a yes, right? Just to clarify?"

"It's a yes, Kyle."

••••

I FELT NERVOUS. I NEVER FEEL NERVOUS. Okay, so perhaps I was exaggerating but I never get nervous like this. My palms were sweating profusely I stared at my reflection, my eyes looked glassy and wild. My fingers brushed past the side of my head against the hair that was no longer there. I embarrassingly recruited Evan and Slater to help me out with my outfit  even if wasn't a date or a measly night out. It was just two adults sitting and talking but it felt like more. I glanced at the clock knowing she'd be home from work in a few minutes. Being with Evelyn just felt like electricity running through my being and I craved it almost ss much as I craved being with her. "Kyle, calm down." Evan laughed watching me pace up and down. "You aren't even going on a date and you're freaking out."

"I'm not freaking out. I'm just scared I'm going to fuck things up with her...again. I'm already bloody aware that I'm not going to keep getting chances and I can't keep ignoring that  I keep blowing her off."

Slater frowned patting me on the shoulder, "Just answer one thing, alright?"

I stopped passing and nodded, "Sure?" Suddenly confused by his tone.

"Do you like her, like really like her and not want to use her as a human sex doll?

I sighed leaning against the kitchen counter and nodded. "Yeah, I do and It fucking terrifies me."

Evan looked at Slater then back to me, "Then tell her, she was genuinely worried about you last night and the one thing you have to remember is that she's not Christa, alright?"

Before I could even respond the door opened. "I'm home. Kyle, are you here?" She yelled, I heard her feet pat against the floor before she finally walked into the kitchen. "Oh hey you guys. Kyle." She gave a half smile but her eyes gave away her disappointment.

Evan cleared his throat, "We better be leaving, we got a band thing to sort out."

My brows furrowed "Band thing? What band thing?"

"A band thing that doesn't involve you."  He fought back with a glare.

"But he's the lead singer, how could it not involve him?" Slater asked, I nodded along causing Evan to slap his hand across his face.

"For a brain, you can be pretty fucking stupid." Evan glared grabbing Slater's collar and headed out the kitchen. "Later Kyle, Emma." A few seconds later we heard the door close.

Evelyn looked up at me, her cheeks flushed. "He's never going to call me 'Evelyn' is he?"

I chuckled, "Probably not." I strode towards her pushing a few strands of her hair behind her ear that had fallen into her face. "So..."

"So..." Evelyn repeated before sighing and undoing the brown apron from her waist from her uniform and placing it on the table. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Kyle. I already forgave you for everything, it's fine."

"That's the thing, Eve. I want to do this, I want to make it up to you. It's not fine, I've been shit towards you, I need to make it right."

"But why?"

It's now or never Kyle.

Can I choose never?

Just do it Kyle.

My heart sped up and my mouth felt dry. "Because I like you."

••••
DUN. DUN. DUN.

sorry guys, another cliff hanger (not so bad this time) HE ADMITTED IT FINALLY. Don't worry, they're going to speak and get to know each other 😏😏

Thanks again for all the comments, etc.