Gypsy Candles

Chapter Fourteen: Word Vomit

Chapter Thirteen::Word Vomit.

The car ride home was stressful as the past few months whirled through my head and possessed my thoughts.

"I wish that Evelyn wasn't engaged to Blake. I wish that they weren't engaged...that this whole ridiculous night had never happened...I wish I could completely re-do the last year of my life and have Blake fall in love with me."

I shouldn't have wished for that.

"If I knew what I know now, I would have fought for Blake."

But I haven't been.

"I wish Pierce was the way he had been when we were teenagers...fun, crazy, irrational...instead of the safe, play-by-the-rules guy he's turned into."

But he ended up being too much fun, didn't he, Blair?

"Hi, I'm here to see Jake Wellington."

I never should have gone to see Jake. I should have researched all the gypsy magic stuff on my own...god damn it, if I had just left him alone then we wouldn't have kept seeing each other and we would have drifted apart, just like we were supposed to.

"I'm pretty sure its common knowledge in this town that I don't do exclusive relationships anymore. Who knows, Aub. Maybe you'll be the one to change me?" Jake smirked.

My breath quickened at the memory and I felt a familiar pressure building behind my eyes. I was losing my mind. And my emotions.

"Here." Blake reached into his coat pocket and tossed a small chain at me. "I bought it in Paris for you. It's one of the things that started the many arguments Evelyn and I had about you. I have to get home, but I'll see you later, Aub."

I should have tossed it back. I was already so over him and Evelyn, why didn't I just toss it back?

"Blair, don't worry. We'll get back to our old lives. I promise." And now that that promise was made, no matter what happened in this New Year we were living, I would have to keep it.

Literally the moment we decided that, we should have booked one-way tickets to Europe and stayed there until it was time to return to our old lives. What the hell were we thinking, sticking around? Now we're going to go back and Blake is gonna be engaged to Evelyn and Jake will be gallivanting off elsewhere and I'll be stuck with the same emotions and thoughts I have now, possibly in love with Jake but stuck dealing with the fact that he'll never want me.

I closed my car door and leaned against it as I tried to pull myself together.

I was literally so done with boys.

I was physically forcing deep breaths to control my emotions, but it did nothing for the pounding in my head as I recalled the conversation I had with Blake a few minutes ago.

Blake had acted the way he did while with Evelyn just to get a reaction out of me? Was there any sense in that? No. No, there wasn't. And when I was to head back to the future, knowing what he just told me...well, it would certainly change the way I saw everything.

I leaned off my car door and walked back to my front door, pausing at the doorknob when a sudden thought hit me: did he propose to Evelyn on my birthday in order to get a reaction out of me?

"Jesus," I muttered before I shook my head.

I had officially reached my emotional overload.

I needed a break from all of this...the alternate reality and the boys and the stupid feelings and memories that would be stuck with me when I returned back to my original life.