Viva Vindictus -- The Cliff

Chapter 11 - Acceptance and the Plunge

I continued to see Dr. Hayden, and she grew more annoying with her observations, with her little comments.

I also started to meet with a different female pack member every morning for coffee. I wanted to know their point of view, their ideas on how to make the pack better. I listened for the first time, I taught myself how to shut up and really listen. Encouraging them to speak their truth.

I was thinking about other people besides myself. There was another element growing, a type of caring, of real caring. I was creating a deeper bond with my pack. They were mine, just as I was theirs. And I could feel their love in return.

I could believe in that.

One morning I left the clinic humming to myself and Kyran met me on the path. The early summer sun felt good on my skin and I was liking my life. We still slept apart, but we were meeting regularly to discuss joint decisions. Kyran believed in vetting all important decisions with his Beta Pair and his Luna.

He listened to us.

I only realized that he had been talking to me when I was roughly pushed against a tree, the bark pushing through my shirt. "Were you even listening, Ellis?"

I started to giggle and then pulled my lips into my mouth to try to stop. Clearing my throat I answered his glare, "Sorry Kyran, my mind was wandering."

"God Ellis!" he whispered to my lips right before his lips pressed hard against mine. The explosion was immediate and took my breath away. I felt his hands cup my face and he pressed into me harder. My mouth opened as I pushed back into the kiss, greedy for it. Grabbing his hair I pulled him toward me, actually wanting to stab him just as much as kissing him at that moment, it was weird how my anger turned me on.

We stayed pressed together for a few minutes, breaking apart to take a few breaths and then attacking each other again. God how I had missed this! We were mates for a reason, we... resonated together. I... craved him liked no other. I didn't want to, but my new-found honesty made me accept this fact.

Slightly confused, I realized I could no longer feel my monster, it was simply gone. My need for revenge and justice was just missing.

But I craved my mate, and I was an addict. I think the first step in curing an addiction was to-

"What the hell are you thinking about, Ellis?" Kyran shouted to my face. I simply put my hands to both sides of his face and laughed. I just laughed and then I had to let go so I could hold my sides and stomach.

I stopped laughing long enough to shout back at him, "I fucking can't stop loving you, and you're a big idiot!" Taking a few deep breaths as I watched his stunned face, his mouth open. Then talking softer I told him, "I don't want to love you, I've tried everything to stop- I even rejected your fucking, cheating ass! But I can't do it, I just can't stop." My voice became a whisper at the end, I didn't know what was happening to me.

And then I stopped laughing as I began crying and looking at the tree tops. "And I'm the biggest fool on the planet." I turned to keep walking, but I was quickly surrounded by my mate's arms.

I was suddenly being turned around and twirled by my smiling mate, I just kept looking at his face and he kept smiling into mine. "I love you so much, Ellis. You can feel it, I know you can." He spun me some more, then kissed me hard again.

"Marry me, Ellis. Live with me. Love me. God I need you. I watch you walking, I watch you helping, I watch you training, I watch you shouting, I watch all of your moods- god I want you! I want all of you, I want the person you are now. I want to swallow you, your soul- and I want all of you. God!"

And... now it was my turn to be stunned. It was my turn to be stupefied. It was my turn to-

But Kyran picked me up and kissed me hard. And I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back. For long minutes, and before I knew it we were walking up the stairs in the pack house, I think people were staring at us but I didn't really look around. And before I knew it I was being dropped in a big bed, and this large, horny man was standing in front of me hopping around, kicking off his shoes and taking off all of his clothes.

And before I knew it I was smiling and just watching him. I saw the muscles in his calves, his large, lean thighs. I looked up at his chest and rippling muscles as they struggled to take off his shirt, his pants long gone. He gave up and ripped it until he could shake it off.

And then he turned to me and stilled. He watched me devour him with my eyes. Giving me a smug grin, he walked toward me and pulled down his boxers. I watched, fascinated as his large cock sprang free, standing straight out and a little upwards.

He stopped when he reached the side of the bed and commanded, "Strip."

I smirked at his eagerness, but I didn't account for the 'horny-ness' factor. My mate had... refrained for a year and a half, and he wasn't to be messed with.

He folded his arms over his chest. "Now," he grunted out.

I swiftly calculated my options, I could tease him but this was fast moving into the 'red zone' of danger. I kicked off my shoes, then sat up on my knees and slowly started to unbutton my shirt. My mate responded by taking both sides and pulling, making my buttons fly all over the room.

"Please, Ellis." He whispered in a pained voice, staring at my boobs and bra. I stopped teasing him and stood on the bed. He gathered me in his arms and pulled me toward him, burying his face in my stomach. He was a really tall and big guy.

Kissing me tenderly, he unbuttoned my pants and pulled them quickly down to my ankles. Which knocked me off balance, but he caught me and lowered me to the bed. He flung my pants away and bent to inhale my essence between my legs. My underwear was wet and my arousal was filling the room.

Looking up at me he cut the sides of my underwear with a claw he let out. My mate then slowly lowered his gaze, and in that moment I was a temple. I was a fucking temple, and he was a priest at my altar. His hands went lower with his eyes and my skin reacted with goosebumps and the electricity sizzled between us.

I arched up under his touch, I craved his touch and he was giving me my fill. I needed this, I needed him.

"This is more than just sex, Ellis. This is a connection, my soul to yours. You're my mate, the one fate gave to me. My essence flows into you, and yours into me. I give you my heart, I trust you with my heart, mate. I love you with everything I am." He lowered his head and ran his lips over my stomach, over my mound between my legs, and inhaled my fragrance.

I ran my hand through his hair, I didn't answer him. The last time I had sex, it was just... sex. It was great sex, but there was no connection. I knew the difference. And I focused on my mate's touch, he wanted to pleasure me. And by pleasuring me, he pleasured himself.

"What do you want, Ellis? How do you want me to touch you?" Kyran didn't look at me, but nudged my legs apart. I followed his lead and threw my head back, just looking at the ceiling.

"I need to know what you want, Ellis, mate." And his hands stilled, and with a little kiss he pulled his head back to look up at me. I could feel his gaze as I moved my eyes to meet his. We stared at each other, this was the moment that I would really start to trust him.

I swallowed, "I want you, Kyran. I need you. I need my mate, my real mate. I just need you." And I made myself stop talking since I was repeating myself and tears were forming in my eyes.

"Hey sweetheart," he said to me softly, "It's ok, you're safe here. I'll always keep you safe, and I'll always love you."

With a half-smile I reached up to touch his face with my fingertips- and willingly jumped off the cliff.