Chapter 5: reasons for lying

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"You're not dead," Lin noted. "I'm so relieved."

"To the tailor," Stefa requested.

She leaned back in her seat and frowned. I wanted to inquire further, but she had reacted badly to my statements before. She wasn't as evil as the hunters thought she was, nor as evil as I think she wanted to be. Whether by my influence or some other factor, Stefa cared about a lot of people. She cared about her clan and keeping them safe, as well as staving off unnecessary bloodshed. As she had told me before; she could protect as much as she killed; society's terms of good and evil didn't work for us.

"I can see you thinking over there," Stefa observed. "I promise I didn't get tickets to the opera."

"You know it's not that," I replied, taking her hand. "I was just thinking about the council meeting. Lin has been making me learn table etiquette; why are there so many forks? Surely we don't need so many."

"You'd have to take that up with humans," she laughed. "I don't use forks."

She smiled, taking my arm and resting her head on my shoulder, curls falling against my chest. Lin stopped in front of the tailor and I hopped out, extending a hand to Stefa to get out of the car. She didn't take it, but instead peered at my face. I wondered what she was looking for.

"You lied to me," she mused. "You weren't thinking about the council meeting at all, were you?"

"No," I admitted. "Come on."

She pushed past me to stand on the sidewalk and folded her arms over her chest. I shut the door and Lin pulled the car back into traffic.

"Tell me it was practice," she said. "Convince me that you're just practicing lying."

"No," I replied. "I was thinking about your statement before, about not being a hero. But I don't want to fight and so I lied. That's why normal people lie, isn't it?"

A mixture of emotions flitted across Stefa's face. She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from me. The wind was picking up, blowing my hair into my face. I pulled it back with a hair tie and then continued to the tailor. Stefa followed me into the store. The man behind the counter was different today, but he pulled up my information with no difficulty.

"Do you want to try a particular one on?" he asked.

"Do I have a wool one?" I questioned. "I forgot with how many I tried on last time."

He scanned the list and led me to the dressing room, where I changed into the suit and one of the shirts we had chosen. It was warm; warmer than the jeans and flannel I had been wearing. When I returned, Stefa was holding out a tie. While the suit I was wearing was a simple dark blue, the tie in her hand was a multi patterned light purple and other colors.

"Really?" I questioned.

"I like it," she replied, popping up my collar to knot the tie, maybe tightening against my neck just a little too much. I loosened it with a tug and she stepped back to frown at me.

"Pick out three ties you like," she replied, nodding toward my selection. "I've already got my picks."

I noticed the small boxes on the counter and despaired at the other colors that she could have chosen. It was too late now. I found a normal looking black tie and a blue and grey striped one. There was a plaid tie that matched my flannel shirt from earlier and so I chose it as well, knowing full well that Stefa would hate it.

I brought these to the counter and Stefa paid for everything, wrinkling her nose at my plaid tie as I had expected. She also picked out some silk squares that seem to serve no other purpose than to sit in my pocket and add another splash of bright color. She took the light purple square and added it to my outfit as the man tallied our bill.

"Do you worry that we spend too much on my clothes?" I remarked, a little overwhelmed by how much the total was.

"No," she replied, putting it on her credit card. "You need to look nice for this meeting. These suits will last you a long time because they're good quality, and it's not like you're going to put on any weight in the next century. You also don't have a lot of clothing. You've seen my closet."

She texted Lin as the man packed everything up for us. I was left carrying most of the clothes out of the store. The man even folded up my former clothes. I thought about asking to change back, but what I was wearing was warmer and I knew Stefa preferred it. We weren't fighting, at least not yet, but I could feel there was an argument we would be having soon. We stepped outside when Lin arrived, and I stored my new suits, shirts and ties in the trunk. Stefa opened the car door.

"Lin, we're going to go to dinner," Stefa told him without getting in the car. "I'll text you when we're done, but it'll be an hour or so, feel free to do as you like."

"See you then, ma'am," Lin replied.

Stefa shut the door and Lin drove off. I felt out of place in this suit. I had seen my reflection; I looked much older, much more put together. I could tell that others who passed us were glancing at both Stefa and myself. We made a normal looking couple now.

"Let's talk," Stefa said, stretching her neck.

She linked arms with me and we walked down the sidewalk. I put my free hand in my coat pocket, waiting for Stefa to start.

"I don't like being mad at you," she said. "So explain what you were talking about before. About why you lied."

I took a moment to gather my thoughts. "I don't think you're a bad person, Stefa. You've done bad things, sure, but so have I. So have most people. I get...frustrated when you seem to want to be this evil mastermind that I don't think you are. I've fought people who enjoyed killing, who kidnapped a ten year old and turned her because they could. And I don't think the same woman who was worried about those human kids yesterday can be that evil."

Stefa didn't respond to me. She didn't even look at me, but continued walking down the sidewalk, taking in the bustling people around us. We did not stand out, not as I thought we might. I bumped her shoulder.

"So?"

Stefa snorted. "I forget how honest you can be," she laughed. "I don't mean this as a criticism, but it's always a bit of a shock."

She stopped on the sidewalk and kissed me, wrapping her arms around my new wool suit. Her lips were cold against mine, but I held her close all the same. She touch my cheek with one hand and then linked her arm back with mine, continuing down the street.

"You're right," she admitted. "I wish I cared less. I worry that compassion is going to get my clan killed, and after they have been through so much for me."

"Could it be that they are with you because of your compassion?" I countered.

She sighed. "Yes. But they are also relying on me to challenge the other clan leaders. We are not popular. If the council votes me out again, they'll do a better job of wiping out my clan, my friends."

"Then don't give them the chance," I told her.

She squeezed my arm and stopped in front of a restaurant with a name I couldn't pronounce.

"This place is German," she explained as we headed inside. "I've heard they have blutwurst here and I've always wanted to try it."

"What is it?" I asked, wondering what on earth she could want to eat.

"Sausage made of cooked blood," she replied with a grin. "Don't worry. I'll let you order something else."

"Let me?" I scoffed. 

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I enjoy how weirdly honest Conor is. He's learning how to lie and when to do so, but we lie all the time without thinking about it. Thanks for reading and have a safe New Year's.

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