The Lemon Meringue Boy

Part 33

I woke up the next morning with sticky eyes. My need for sleep was almost unbearable. All I wanted was to sleep in for at least a couple more hours...but there was work to do. Stan and Ford were going to show up around noon and it was already nine thirty. 

I sat up grudgingly, my body stiff, protesting against even the very prospect of motion. I stretched my sore limbs one at a time, my half-closed eyes sweeping the dimly lit basement floor in search of Bill.

 I found him in the corner, sleeping peacefully. No dreams obviously. I hadn't thought to circle him with the new hair after the confusion of the previous night, so I was relived his subconscious was at rest. Still, I spared no time applying the strand then.

I should have woken Bill, but when I reached down to nudge him awake, I hesitated. He was more peaceful than I'd seen him in... ever. There it was again. My strange reoccurring sympathy towards this murderous psychopath. 

I shrugged it off as human nature and left Bill to rest. There was no benefit to having him panic earlier than needed. I left him, hoping he had the sense to stay put when he woke, and went up the elevator to the main floor. Stan and Ford were coming.

 I momentarily forgot about Bill in order to make room for excitement. My two great uncles, The most heroic people I knew. I could hardly contain my enthusiasm. With a childish skip in my step, I entered the kitchen. A plate of thick ham and sunny side up eggs already awaited my arrival, as well as five beaming faces. 

"You ready Bro-bro? Now our real summer starts!" Mabel was grinning from ear to ear.

"Yup! Definitely looking forward to it! Think! The last time we saw Stan and Ford was right after..." I was going to say "Weirdmaggedon", but that would've been illegal. The NMATA was pretty strict about that kind of thing. Even still, Mabel nodded knowingly.

"I know, it's crazy!" I smiled and broke my egg yolk, spreading the runny filling across my ham.

After breakfast, I went upstairs to brush my teeth and hair. Once I got to the bathroom, I turned on the tap, savoring the familiar creak of the rusted metal faucet. I ran my hands under the cool water, splashing it against my face in an attempt to keep myself awake. I shook the excess water into the sink, grabbing a towel for my face. Just around the time I finished patting my cheeks dry, I heard the slam of the front door. They were here! I threw the towel down on the vanity in a ball and sprinted down the stairs. 

"GRUNKLE STAN! GREAT UNCLE FORD!" we weren't normally the kind of people to give hugs, but I couldn't stop myself. Mabel jumped on the opportunity for a group hug, and all four of us ended up on the ground.

"All right you knuckleheads, get offa me! I'm too old for this!" Grunkle Stan stood up and straightened his red beanie. It was new, probably a replacement for his fez, which now belonged to Soos. Even so, it was already worn and ratty and covered in flecks of dirt. Ford got up next.

"Dipper! Mabel! You won't believe some of the paranormal beasts we faced out in the triangle!"

"I'm gonna cut you off there." Mabel said, her face stern. "Did you bring presents?"

"Yes indeed!" Ford didn't miss a beat. He was used to weirdness, including Mabels antics. "For the lovely lady we brought..." He rifled through his luggage while Mabel bounced on her toes expectantly. "THIS!" 

Fords six-fingered hand emerged from the duffel bag with a small glass box. Inside was a small, bio-luminescent purple fish.

"OH MY GOSH IT'S ADORABLE!" Mabel squealed and reached out, grabbing the glass cube and fawning over it like it was a newborn puppy. Stan jumped into the conversation.

"There was a whole bunch of 'em on that giant squid. Sixer here says their "cleaner fish". That means nobody has to buy food or clean the tank! The dirtier the tank the fuller the fish! It's a win-win!" Mabel hugged the little marvel close.

"I'll name you Darrell! You remind me of that weird drippy stain in my room! He's starting to glow purple too!" When Mabel was done, Stan and Ford turned to me.

"And Dipper! After a giant megalodon attacked the Stan O' War, it dropped one of these!" I held out my hands so Ford could place the gift in my palms. The tooth was as long as my forearm and almost as wide as my skull.

"Woah! A megalodon? I thought those things were extinct!" Grunkle Stan looked at me quizzically.

"Kid, you've seen me punch a pterodactyl in the face. You should know that "Extinct" isn't really an issue." I looked back down at the smooth white tooth, admiring its serrated edge and sharp tip, before tucking it snuggly in my vest.

"Thanks! This is awesome!" Mabel nodded in agreement.

"Yeah!" she tapped on the tank. "Say thank you to Grunkle Stan and great Uncle Ford, Darrell!" The glowing magenta fish trilled like a songbird, letting up a stream of bubbles. Mabel squealed. 

Stan kneeled down and ruffled both me and Mabel's hair. "We were thinking of letting you kids come sailing on the lake with us. The Stan O' War is waiting at the dock." I shoved his hand off my head, causing my hair to stick up in spikes.

"Yeah! I've wanted to see what it's like! I'll bet it's full of sciency stuff and awesome contraptions!"

"I wanna go too!" Mabel interrupted. "I can't wait to sail again! This time, I get to be captain!" Ford nodded and laughed.

"Well go get ready, because we're going ASAP! The winds are perfect right now. We won't be getting these perfect conditions again for a long time. Won't want to miss it!" I was so excited that I almost forgot about the problem with that. Namely the problem in the basement.

"Wait! I have to do something first! Wait here and don't follow me!" I didn't have time to consider how suspicious I sounded. I casually speed-walked to the elevator and punched in the code. When I got to the basement I heard Bill's voice almost immediately;

"Where were you?!" He was speaking in a whisper-shout, his face was angry but I could tell he was scared from the slight quiver of his voice.

"Stan and Ford are here. They're upstairs." As I spoke, I could see the panic building in Bill's expression. 

"But don't worry." I reassured him. "I was just coming down to check in. they're about to take me and Mabel out on a ride in their boat, so they'll be out of the house for a while. As long as you stay in the basement and keep quiet you should be fine."

"Don't worry about me, Pine Tree." He laid down on the cement floor and put his hands behind his head. "I'll just be here waiting out the days or hours or possibly minutes until my inevitable death. You have yourself a good time, meatsack."

"Drama queen." I mumbled before turning around and trotting back up the steps.