déjà vu ✗ riarkle

regret.

[RILEY MATTHEWS]

Saturday, December 24th.

I unwrapped the gift Maya got me. It was a best friend bracelet and she got the other one. It's super beautiful and it couldn't be any better.

Zay got me a ukulele. I think that it's a new hobby I can get used to.

Now I handed out my gifts and they all opened theirs. I kept my eye on Farkle.

He opened the cd case and read the note that said: I'm not too great with expressing how I feel so listen to this. Merry Christmas I love you.

I noticed that his cheeks turned to a pink colour. "Riley?" Maya said and I looked over at her. "Thank you honey."

"thank you Riley, this is really thoughtful." Zay smiled.

"Riley you did good." Lucas admitted. I chuckled and looked down at my hands. I felt overwhelmed with joy. I waited for Farkle to say something.

"I can't wait to listen to this... thanks babe." Farkle spoke with a small smile. When he called me babe I seriously felt my heart beat faster. It was a loving silence. "Um... here you guys." Farkle handed us each a gift.

I ripped the red wrapping paper off and saw a black book. My eyebrows furrowed a bit. I opened the book. It was filled with photos of my parents and me. I pursed my lips flipping the pages. There were notes in it from my parents when they used to write journal entry's.

My breathing got heavy. "Farkle." I said and he stood up and sat beside me on the couch.

"Riley, I called Shawn and got him to mail all the photos and letters he has of you and your parents. I want you to have a second choice to go to if you're sad and I'm not there. You deserve to be happy and I'm willing to do anything for you so you can be." He spoke calmly and everyone was quiet. He handed me a flash drive. "family videos." He said.

"Farkle... I-" I couldn't even speak. "I love you so much." I said the only thing coming to my mind. I set the gift down and wrapped my arms around him in an embracing hug. 

[FARKLE MINKUS]

As she hugged me I felt myself tense up. It's been over a year and I still get nervous around her.

After that everything went by quickly. We sang Christmas songs and chatted. Eventually it ended up getting late and I was running out of time to ask her to be my girlfriend again. I didn't want to do it in front of anyone but her for some reason.

I started to bounce my knee up and down just because I'm stressed and have no clue what to do. Zay was telling some story about a Texas rodeo.

it felt like something was pushing on my chest. Riley set her hand on my knee and I stopped bouncing it.

She turned to me and and noticed my chest moving up and down frantically.

Her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes squinted a bit.

my mind was racing to: ask Riley Matthews, if you don't ask her now Ethan will, don't make a fool of yourself-

I stood up harshly and everyone looked at me "Riley." She looked up and nodded. "can we talk?"

"uh yeah... where do you wan-" she stood up and brushed her icy blue dress off.

I cut her off "outside, it's really hot in here." I rubbed the back of my neck. She nodded and walked to the door. She slid on her white fur coat. We walked outside in complete silence. I didn't know if it was a good silence or not.

When we got outside she rubbed her hands against each other. "why are we out here? It's freezing... it's below zero Farkle." She asked. I could see the hot air coming out of her mouth.

"it doesn't feel that way..." I replied. the expression on her face was clearly confused.

"okay Farkle what's going on?" She questioned, letting her hands fall to her sides then crossing over her chest. I opened my mouth to talk. She smiled at me and then brushed my hair off. "sorry there was snow in your hair and it was bugging me."

I let out a sigh.

"I'm regretting this."

"am I not serious enough... sorry." She took a step back. I can't do it.

"no... it's just not a good time I guess. I don't know why I decided to do it now, I guess that maybe it's what I want but-" I started to ramble.

"Farkle, you don't have to tell me now. Listen to the cd, and tell me how you feel. Let's go back inside you must be freezing." Her hand touched mine.

funny enough I wasn't.